|
...and now the press agent for the Woodpeckers will read from a prepared statement. "Everything that other guy said about the game was bu*$&#*t, thank you".
In addition to that, the Nationals spy that infiltrated the Woodpeckers team grounded into the most boring double play that Fallball has ever seen.
Ed smashed hits off both Jim and Ian and was last seen making calls in the dugout from the phonebook looking to see if anyone else named McWilliams wanted to pitch.
|
|
Everything was going according to plan until the good natured and playful demeanor of the Woodpeckers was taken advantage of by the home team. During the parts of the game where the gentlemenly agreement that regular baseball rules apply during the undocumented rules that Fallball functions under, the Woodpeckers held their own if not controlled the game. Then in the final inning of the final game and in their final at bats, The Nationals, in their desperate reach for mediocrity, cast the gentlemenly agreement into the garbage can and tried to hide it by way of sending a GIRL up to do their dirty work !
"Hey, that deal was between the gentlemen and doesn't apply to her", Jim McLiarpants, the desperate manager was heard muttering to nobody in particular over and over again in the dugout. As by far and away the best female hitter in the game ripped a line drive into right that was sure to be extra bases if not for the strikingly handsome right fielder getting in the way to keep it as a single.
It wasn't the surrendoring of the lead in the last inning that scared the Peckers as much as when they noticed the ol wiley manager and relief pitcher, Jim McAnythingtowin, heading out into the darkness with an entire bucket of illegal baseballs to figure out which ones would be the most effective in the cold night air for the bottom of the inning in hopes of closing out the game.
Peckers started off as expected with getting the runners on base and in scoring position for the game plan of simply pushing down on the little brothers head and taking the game from them, when McPocketsofgoo started pulling out different baseballs against the most feared, and strikingly handsome, hitter in all of Fallball who's turn to the plate it happened to be was up. As the ferocious batter was already overdue at the plate and steaming from falling for the ol, "check out this amazing bat that I just made that'll never break" trick earlier in the game, strike one was thrown past him. It was thought to be outside as McNasty was throwing for the known blind spot on the hitter but the line of snake oil that had dripped off the ball on it's way across the plate did show the path to be a true one.
As the catcher needed to grab another glove due to his no longer being usable, McCheater simply reached back into his gooey pocket and pulled out the next ball for play. The second pitch was smashed into the gap but with nasty unknown subtance the bat just slipped right across it and again it popped into the catchers mitt. Thus causing for another change of gear time out and another baseball disappearing before it could be reviewed. The third pitch had to of been a balk as it took 3 to 4 releases to get it to actually leave the hand of McGoomaster, and with grease, pine tar, tobacco juice, wd-40, goof-off, molasses, and an unknown substance smuggled in from the Ukraine dripping off of the baseball it came hurling towards the team hero and it is still under dispute if he hit it out of the park at time warp speed or if it truly was just another baseball the catcher already had in his pocket that was then punched into his glove, but the old, senile, and blind umpire fell for the banana in the tailpipe gag OR WAS IN ON IT...and upset everyone in the park by saying it indeed was strike three.
Nobody really knows what happened after this part as everyone was just too upset, disappointed, and went home.
Damn you Jimmy McWilliams, daaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhmmmmmmmmnnnnnnnn you.
|
Woodpeckers Schedule