|Motor City Royals Schedule|
|1||Mon Jun 03||6:00 PM||Hazel Park||Motor City Firebirds||L||13||1|
Vaseline Prankst'r Strikes Hazel Parketh
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 R H E
Hazel Parketh's "Vaseline Prankst'r" did strike again this Monday at Green Acres Field. This timeth the victims w're a baseball team playing a gentle game 'gainst their chums. "someone smear'd Vaseline on all our gloves right bef're the game. We couldn't catcheth the ball - w'rst day ev'r!" did exclaim James Robeth'rtson, who is't hadst a sizeable fan section in attendance. "on the oth'r handeth, 10 seconds in a microwave, and thee just might has't something. "
Statistically, and spiritually, Doug Fryeth wast by far the playeth'r of the game. The only playeth'r with 2 hits, and those singles w're both shots. Our sole RBI of the season so far. Eke hadst the most wondrous pitching numb'rs: 14 batt'rs did face, 1 hitteth, 0 walks, 0 did earn runs. And of course to leadeth the team in barley pops. "did i has't the most wondrous numb'rs? oh god. " Doug rhet'rically hath asked. Seeth. statistically and spiritually.
Congratulations to the Firebirds' lefty Joe Pistono, who is't did manage to reacheth base due to 'rr'r all 3 times to bateth.
|2||Mon Jun 10||6:00 PM||Capitol Park||at Tigers||W||5||1|
|3||Thu Jun 13||8:15 PM||Bicentennial Park||Indians||P|
|4||Tue Jun 18||8:15 PM||Hazel Park||Nationals||W||16||3|
Serious Injuries Suck
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 R H E
As much fun as the score looks for the Royals, the tragedy of the game was seeing Nationals' first baseman Ken McHenry go down and stay down. He has just made a great play catching a grounder down the first base line when the right leg collapsed. Hurry back, Ken!
Defense was good on both sides tonight. Not perfect, but almost. Hats off to both teams for that. Also hats off to both teams for saving that kitten in the parking lot. Walt Kraft gave it mouth to mouth recussitation, and Jean-Claude Lewis has been taking estrogen and was able to lactate a bit and feed the wee creature....awww
On tap, the Royals had a far greater selection available in the cooler than teams normally stock. No less than 4 distinct beverages were available. 5 if you count Jean-Claude.
...and the Royals won the game.
|5||Sat Jun 22||12:15 PM||Bishop Foley||at Zug Island Lugnuts||W||17||4|
McRoyals Outslug Lugnuts
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 R H E
Sunshine not only makes for a beautiful day, it contracts the irises, increasing depth of focus. Hitter can really see the ball well. Today didn't disappoint, the Royals' top 10 hitters had multi-hit games. Now that I think about it, those are the same 10 guys Jean-Claude had try that new flavor Doritos. And now that I think about it more...those are the same 10 guys that went to the park after the game and rolled around in the tall grass. What the heck is in those things?
The defensive player of the game was Lugnuts' shortstop Chris Miller. Lots of fielders had perfect games, but Chris consistently made higher-difficulty plays. Several backhands and long throws. Did you know that Chris did 8 months of missionary work in Africa, in the 1980s? "I just wanted to see that tribe where the girls go topless, like in National Geographic" Chris explained.
Mark Stanisz and Jim McWilliams hit together before the game, and they were both 3-for-3 with a sac fly and stolen base. Jim had 3 runs and 1 RBI, where Mark contributed 2 runs and 2 RBI. They also started a ritual when they score runs where they mirror each others movements as mimes.
The Royals pounded several extra-base hits today. Tracy Conyer, Mark Stanisz, Jeff Young and Greg Wilson all pounded doubles. Concidentally, all 4 players ate burgers at the park and pounded their _____
|6||Wed Jun 26||8:15 PM||Clawson||Marlins||L||4||2|
|7||Sat Jun 29||10:00 AM||Hazel Park||The Tribe||L||11||3|
|8||Tue Jul 02||6:30 PM||Flat Rock||Tigers||L||15||1|
|9||Mon Jul 08||8:15 PM||Clawson||at Diamondbacks||W||9||5|
|10||Fri Jul 12||6:00 PM||Capitol Park||Marlins||L||12||4|
|11||Mon Jul 22||8:45 PM||Flat Rock||at Tigers||T||5||5|
|12||Thu Jul 25||6:00 PM||Hazel Park||at Motor City Firebirds||L||11||9|
|13||Sun Jul 28||10:00 AM||Fraser||The Tribe||W||12||11|
|14||Thu Aug 01||8:15 PM||Bicentennial Park||at Motor City Firebirds||L||6||4|
|15||Mon Aug 05||8:15 PM||Hazel Park||at Indians||L||10||9|
|16||Wed Aug 07||8:15 PM||Hazel Park||at Marlins||L||15||2|
|17||Sat Aug 10||10:00 AM||Fraser||Nationals||W||12||4|
|18||Mon Aug 12||6:00 PM||Hazel Park||at Zug Island Lugnuts||W||18||3|
|19||Fri Aug 16||8:15 PM||Hazel Park||Indians||L||20||3|
|20||Mon Aug 19||8:15 PM||Clawson||at Diamondbacks||W||15||1|
|21||Fri Aug 23||8:15 PM||Hazel Park||at The Tribe||L||16||1|
|22||Sun Aug 25||12:15 PM||Fraser||Zug Island Lugnuts||W||30||0|
|23||Tue Aug 27||6:00 PM||Clawson||at Nationals||L||14||8|
|24||Fri Sep 06||8:15 PM||Hazel Park||Diamondbacks||W||9||8|
|25||Thu Sep 12||8:15 PM||Capitol Park||Indians||L||15||1|
|26||Tue Sep 17||6:00 PM||Hazel Park||at Tigers||L||17||8|