|1||Tue May 15||8:15 PM||Ford Field||Mets||L||4||1|
Mets 4 - Nationals 1
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 R H E
The weather had broken just in time. It was a beautiful opening day and the field was as good as its going to be all year. Adulations to the Grounds Crew ;)
Whence dugout was abuzz with the din of eagerness. A bawdy band of characters did assemble for a manly test of skill. 12 they were, in number - as donuts amid box. Carrying "home" designation, they did with brave spirit defend the field incipiently. Twice from the onset did shutout innings ensue as statesman Master Andy Gury, forded the mound and hurled eggs of goose forthwith. The culmination of fortitude, resolve, and an effective array of pitches did prove quite elusive.
Yea then, did follow young lads Adam (not of Biblical fame) and Andrew (not to be confused with Andy - even though he wore a GURY jersey today) to the bowling bump. As with Master Gury, a fine collection of shutout innings closed the 3 nigh innings. Let's hear it for the pitchers, "Hip Hip Horray, Hip Hip Hooray, Hip Hip Hooray!
Defensive acumen emboldened the spirit as teammates found trust in their commrades. Noteworthy achievements did boost 2 gentlemen to the forefront of attention. His Honor Lovie Crawford in marvelous fashion, as they say, "ran it down" whilst manning the center-field position. Then with flourish did hitteth thy cut-off man who made relay to 2B and completed the coveted DOUBLE PLAY.
Accolades also be bestowed upon Captain Colter. As the game grew weary, despite a double plurality of innings defending the dish, he did take station in the leftest of fields. The ensuing running catch marvelled all, least of which himself. "Who wudda thunk it?" He did exclaim when asked to verbalize the essence of the event.
The Nationals' lone run did occur during the 2nd stanza. The junior of the McWilliams clan, Sir Ian, produced such impact from bat to ball as to send the hapless left-fielder shuddering in the lights, in fear of the ball. "Double" the crowd cheered. The wildest of pitches advanced our hero from secondary to tertiary bases. With quick dispatch then, Still Not The Biblical Adam placeth the ball in such a place that iMac did toe the plate at a comfortable rate.
Several innings later, convtroversy did stir. Was said ball-in-the-lights to be categorized as "hit" or "error?" Would it not surprise you, as the only hit through 3 innings? Mets dictum was passed that shall scoreth said play an "error" in maintenance of "No Hit" status. Twas this comment directly that swayed the elder McWilliams to not only tally a pure hit, but adding salt to the wound, by selecting the tactic deemed least-gentlemanly method to spoil a contested "no-hitter," the "bunt for base hit." With comfort one would say it irked the Mets no end. Surprise be not if the next confrontation would yeiled a "hit-by-pitch" had the game not concluded a single batter from infamy, and if the Metropolitans were less-notoriously gentlemanly themselves.
|2||Thu May 17||6:00 PM||Capitol Park||Phillies||L||8||1|
Philllies 8 - Nationals 1
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 R H E
Big Star, Andy Gury! 2-for-3 with a double. The brawny lad put a whooping on the ball certainly. First was a double to the gap, then a single to score our only run. This kid has taken the #3 spot seriously, leading the team in AVG just out of the gate. After the game, Andy sat with a piece of pizza roll stuck in his teeth and nobody told him. Even his mom & dad were in on it. Hilarious!
Big Star, Ben Hagen! Single, stolen base, a couple nice catches. The stolen base was awesome; it came after what seems like 30 throws to 1B by the pitcher. After the game, Ben changed into his BEARD LIVES MATTER t-shirt and told the story of his dad, when Ben was a teenager. His dad said to him one day "Ben" he said ... "Ben, today I'm going to teach you to be a man" and he ate his razor.
Big Star, Damian Muniz! Scored our only run. He led off the 6th with a single. Stole second base, and scored on Andy's single. Damian stretched before the game. It was important that everyone know. Something else to know is that Damian is also an actor. He landed the role of Huitzilopochtli in a romantic comedy called "Tenochtitlan by moonlight."
Big Star, Gabe Blanco! Literally hit third base with a sharp slapper for a single, then stole our first base of the year. Gabe held a press conference after the game where he said "After seeing Jim thrown out stealing last game, I wanted to do something nice for him. So I stole the base. I also stole this crystal clock from The Hallmark Store ... do you think he'll like it?"
Big Star, Mike Homant! Starting pitcher for the Phillies. Complete game win, 10 strikeouts. Give credit where credit is due. And speaking of credit, be sure to attend Mike's fund raiser spaghetti dinner ($75 per plate) on the 19th. The charity is Mike Wants A New Corvette. Wear deep pockets and give 'till it hurts. Then give a little more.
|3||Mon May 21||6:00 PM||Capitol Park||Giants||P|
|4||Wed May 23||6:00 PM||Ford Field||at Expos||L||5||2|
Nationals 2 - Expos 5
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 R H E
Tonight's top story: Colter with a pair of knockers! Doubles in the 1st and 6th innings led the offensive charge. Jacob was also terrific behind the plate, blocking pitches like a pro. Unfortunately, his quick snack before the game was a handful of fresh garlic. He was made to sit in the bullpen between innings, communicating only in semaphore.
Gury Goes Both Ways: Offensively, Andy offered a hit and RBI. Then pitched a perfect 2 innings, ending each inning with a strikeout. Suddenly wearing #9, he was asked to explain the change. "Well I've always felt that all existing things can be explained in 9s...it was as if the cosmos was calling to me." "That, and Jacob gave me a really nice foot rub to have#4."
Carlisle Cracks Consecutive Cannon Chots: Christain rocked the ball twice, making a statement in his first 2 PAs wearing the W. He added a flawless defensive effort. A reporter from Sports Illustrated interviewed him after the game and asked him to explain his powerful swing. CC chimed, "I'm clean, but my bat has been on steroids for 4 years."
Muñiz Sets the Table: Damian led off the 1st and 3rd innings with a hit and a walk. He scored our first run, becoming the first Natty to toe the plate twice. Good for 50% of our team's runs scored so far this season. After the game, Damian setup chairs and folding tables to seat 12, complete with table cloth, plate, bowl, 3 forks, 2 spoons, 2 knives, a goblet and a gravy boat. Muñiz Sets the Table
Blanco Gets to First Base Twice: A hit and a walk get noticed on the scoresheet. Unfortunately that beard keeps getting him noticed as a troublemaker. Twice this week Homeland Security brought him in for questioning. He got all the questions right, and was told to try out for Jeopardy! Jeopardy asked him his defining moment, and Gabe offered "...in 8th grade I made out with 2 girls in the same day."
|5||Tue May 29||6:00 PM||Bicentennial Park||Tigers||L||12||10|
Tigres sacan un conejo de sus sombreros
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 R H E
Había muchas cosas buenas sobre el juego. Todos llegaron a la base al menos una vez, y diez jugadores llegaron a la base dos veces. Cuatro chicos lograron llegar a la base tres veces. Diez bateadores tuvieron una carrera anotada o corrieron impulsadas. Seis tuvieron ambas. Era una ofensa uniformemente dispersa, como el guacamole en una tostada.
|6||Thu May 31||8:15 PM||Bicentennial Park||at Diamondbacks||L||5||4|
Ugly-ball overshadows 4 fine pitching performances
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 R H E
Andrew VanArsdale was hot
Joey Lawnicki tossed 3 as well
Colton Rutkowski drove home our first run of the game
Gabe Blanco today had our first hit
Adam O'Brien was on base every time
|7||Mon Jun 04||6:00 PM||Clawson||at Bloomfield A's||L||16||5|
Ian Watches the A's Bring the Bacon
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 R H E
Ian McWilliams got to the game in plenty of time, having found his missing red belt in his girlfriend's....um...never mind. He was geeked to play on the Clawson diamond because it was so close to GF's house, and all the recent renovations have improved the facilty. "It's pretty nice" he said.
Seeing the lineup posted, and noticing he was batting 3rd, Ian questioned the manager about such an honor, with such a mediocre season average. The skipper explained "I know you like fast pitchers, and I bet the A's have someone that can bring it." Ian nodded approvingly and continued his pre-game ritual.
Immediately this looked like a big day at the plate for the visiting Nationals. Ian remarked "Damian's hit in the first inning was the hardest I've seen him hit the ball...he smoked it." Ian followed 2 batters later with a laser-shot single to left, making good on the manager's prognosticative skills.
The Nationals did not tally another base-knock until the 5th inning when Andrew squeezed a single in between 3 strikeouts. Ian had just said "nobody can touch this guy" (meaning the pitcher) when Andrew stroked one "...except AV"
In the 6th inning Ian had come up to bat after Joey had drawn a walk, and Andy had our 4th hit. "Yeah, Andy ripped the ball" Ian concluded. "Glad to see he finally struck out though...turns out he's human like the rest of us."
In the 7th inning, Ian decided to take an inning off defense. He had played the entire game, and it was time to give someone else a shot. McWilliams still went out to shortstop, but this time #0. Andrew was taking the hill and Ian was eager to watch. He had heard about the dominant performance last week. Unfortunately Andrew struggled with the Clawson mound, which is ... let's say unique ... After a few batters, Andrew offered, "I can't figure out my landing on this thing, someone else go." Jim took the ball from Andrew, which Ian had assumed meant he was coming in as the closer. Jim was Ian's manager growing up, so Ian is used to his dad handing him the ball. Jim met the infield at the mound and they all seemed astonished Jim intended to pitch - and they all tried to talk him out of it. Ian had even gone to the mound expecting the call. Adam had asked "I can re-enter, right?" Colton chimed in "Ian is ready to go." Andy threw in "I can go if you need me coach." Ian's dad retorted "what am I, chopped liver?" Elder McWilliams finished the game and became the only pitcher of the day to not allow a run (of his own).
Ian had to drive fans home after the game and missed Damian tell us how he's fasting, after eating a handful of pizza rolls. He also missed Lovie's explanation "sometimes you just gotta swallow." He also missed the story of Junior Barnes. (if you were there, click the link)
Once home, Ian took a look at the scorebook and noticed some oddities. "Lovie, Joey, and my dad each had 2 walks and a strikeout." "Damian was our only player with 2 hits, plus a walk, plus it's brutal to play catcher at Clawson, looking into the sun the whole game." Ian added "if he were here right now, I'd make him a kale smoothie." Then he remembered "Joey pitched sidearm/submarine today, that was hilarious." "And he had good control doing it."
"The only thing that bummed me out," Ian exclaimed "...is that when I got home expecting to play Fortnite with my buds, the team was full and I was left holding the umbrella, so to speak." It seems Andy, Andrew, Cole, and another player we're scouting started without #6. "I'll get in soon though, I rock."
|8||Wed Jun 06||6:00 PM||Clawson||Blue Jays||L||7||1|
Stars and Stripes Dies Hero's Death
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 R H E
They say it's not how you start, but how you finish. The Nationals were the last team to score, so they are declared the winners.
But alas, this is a day of mourning and we pay our final respects for one of our most beloved teammates...the Stars and Stripes bat. It served Ian as Excalibur served King Arthur. Stars and Stripes had tallied our first hit of the game; a sharp single to center with a man on, man out in the first inning. In the 4th, however, it met it's demise. Sawed off. Saddened, teammates held vigil.
Andy began a round of speeches, mentioning "I remember the first time I saw it I thought it was metal. Then it hit that walk-off grand-slam against the Bandits, and I was convinced it was magical." The men then held ales high and gave three cheers "hip, hip, hooray!" As tribute to the Bat of Destiny, Andy had followed the bat's demise with a double to the left field wall.
During the match, the combatants must not succumb to grief, they must carry on the battle. Then it was fate that brought a new club branded "Nationals" to the plate in the 7th. A man on and a man out, trailing by 6. An auspicious start for the newest Sceptre of Swat, another sharp single to center. The efforts of the 2 bats had Ian as the sole striker with 2 tallies, accounting for half the team's hits. Andy's double, and Joey's 7th inning single summed up the tally sheet.
The Nationals sole run came under the spikes of Gabe, who had walked. Jim somehow knocked him in for the RBI on a crappy grounder over by the pitcher somewhere. Maybe Gabe was on 3rd after a couple wild pitches? Don't remember. No idea what happened, he just put his head down and ran as fast as he could ... and since Jim writes the recaps, that's the best you get. He was the only guy on the field that didn't see what happened.
Now hey, gotta say, in addition to a pair of hits, our starting pitcher did a heck of a job. There was an unearned run in the first, then 3 shutout innings allowing only a hit and a walk thus far. He did wind up allowing 2 earned runs, but the last...well...Jim came in all chest-puffed and proceded to give up a no-doubt home run, easily scoring the run that had singled. If our "next" pitcher had pitched instead, that guy probably gets stranded.
Our "next" pitcher after Jim was Andy, who is getting quite used to all the press attention. He's doing Sports Illustrated "The Body" next weekend. He finished with a shutout inning of his own.
Taquitos and corn on the cob was the fare at the team meeting. The baking sheet is really making a difference, keeping the snacks from burning. We were congratuled on our fine festivities by one of the full-time softball coaches. We offered him a chair, but he declined saying that he only eats kosher taquitos and Amish Butter Popcorn CN177 on the cob...then waddled off like Charlie Chaplin whistling.
|9||Sun Jun 10||12:15 PM||Fraser||at Dodgers||W||10||9|
Nationals Start Winning Streak
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 R H E
The biggest story of the day was Joey Lawnicki mowing down the Dodgers for 3 innings. #13 gets the first victory of the season. His first two innings were masterful...no hits, 3 Ks. The final inning he was untouchable with the game on the line. HBP and a hit were inconsequential, but the tying run coming to the plate was a big deal. From there Joey was his best, forcing 2 weak grounders and a strikeout as an exclamation mark to end the game. There was confusion after the game when Jim wrote "wanna be closer?" on the white-board, and Joey gave him a hug. "I meant pitch relief and get saves!" the accosted skipper squeamed. (Joey also had 2 hits and 2 runs scored - awesome day)
Andy Gury was the starter. He pitched 4 bulldog innings, having the lead for much of it. Andy was the unlucky recipient of 4 unearned runs and deserved a better fate. In addition to a fine pitching performance, he was on base all 5 trips to the plate. His strategy today was to get on base with as many different ways possible. He tallied a HBP, walk, fielder's choice, 2 hits, and even advanced on an error. He said later, "if it went to extra innings, I was going to lean back and smack Alex's mitt with my bat, for catcher's interference." Alex overheard and executed a brilliant reach-around nutpunch. Andy was wearing a cup and just laughed.
Christian Carlisle really brought the bacon today. In the 2nd inning, his bases-loaded double gave the Nats a comfortable lead. He got the 7th inning rally started with a walk and run. After the game we sat around the grill. Jim brought chicken nuggets, and Christian brought bacon.
Jacob Colter had a rough morning, convincing his parents he was well enough to play. His mother insisted, "boys can be rough, you should stay away from the playground until your ankle is all better." "Aww...but mom!" They came along to keep an eye on him. Jacob really put on a show. His double knocked in our first run. He added 2 more hits going 3-for-4. Jacob couldn't stay after the game, he had to get his parents to the airport before the street lights went on.
Damian Muñiz had a big day at the plate with 3 hits of his own. After fasting for several days, the team got him some treats. Sitting around the grill, he was offered refreshments. He took a brownie, but turned down the Coke and stuck with water. "It makes my teeth feel funny." "...and I already feel funny about these chicken legs, don't need the teeth too."
Say hello to the new Nationals good luck charm, Robbie Brenay. In his first game in the red white and blue, he knocks home the go-ahead run in the final inning. The Nats are undefeated with him in the lineup. The debut was so auspicious, the Vegas odds jumped from 400-1 to 16-1 for the Nats to win the MSBL championship. Robbie even walked from the parking lot to the diamond in bunny slippers. 2 rabbits' feet...what could be luckier?
Everyone was in on the action at the plate. Ian had a hit and bases-loaded HBP, 2 runs and an RBI. Gabe was on base twice, had a hit, stole a base, and scored the tying run in the 7th inning. Jim was on base 3 times, contributed the game-tying RBI, had a stolen base, and scored the go-ahead run in the 7th.
Dan Gury was keeping score and very amusing. He was a hit and had 2 long walks.
|10||Mon Jun 11||8:15 PM||Clawson||Team USA||L||16||3|
USA Squeaks Out Victory Over Dominant Nationals
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 R H E
It was a nail-biter all the way to the end...an epic back-and-forth battle with one team taking an advantage and the other responding in kind. On one hand, you had the Nationals' starting pitcher, Jim McWilliams only lasting 4 batters before getting the hook. On the other hand, the Nationals knocked out Team USA's starting pitcher Riki Maruszczak while he was still warming up. Edge, Nationals.
Adam O'Brien pulled the long relief assignment and shut out USA for the rest of the inning. The Nationals came to bat against USA's replacement pitcher and scored a run. Damian Muñiz added to his team-leading hit total with a sharp drive in the first. He stole 2nd and took 3rd on Ben Hagen's hit. Ben stole 2nd and Ian McWilliams tallied the 3rd laser shot for an RBI single. Edge, Nationals.
Adam pitched a shutout 5th inning, helped by some outstanding defense. Jim flahed his 42" vertical to rob Cory Luke of a hit single. A strikeout, then Andy Gury caught an unbelievable pop up. Mark Feeny had popped up a fastball with such quick bat speed that he hit the ball well above the lights. The ball achieved terminal volocity and rocketed down on Andy. It was such a high pop-op, Andy and Nats third-sacker Joey Lawnicki had time to discuss venereal diseases. Joey mentioned syphillis; Andy quickly shouted "I got it!" and caught the pop up.
In stark contrast to the 1-2-3 5th inning, the Nationals mounted another rally in the 2nd inning. Edge, Nationals.
Colton Rutkowsi knocked a 2-out double with 2 outs and the bases empty. It was a thing of beauty. It was so beautiful, in fact that the USA players on the bench were reaching for their bottles of Jerkins Hand Lotion. Adam masterfully drew a walk, out-guiling USA's 0-out reliever, Mark Wojda on 4 straight pitches. Joey belted a waist-high fastball for an RBI single. Exit speed velocity was estimated at 101.1, WRIF...Baby!
Ben Hagen had 3 stolen bases, Team USA had one. Edge, Nationals.
In the 7th inning it was still anyone's game. Ben Hagen put on a show. He came up with his new bat, ready to break Jim's windshield. His stance was so fierce it intimidated the USA closer who issued a base on balls. With amazing display of speed, Ben stole 2nd and advanced to third on the throw down to 2nd. The first player in MSBL history to be awarded 2 stolen bases on the same throw. The next pitch went wild, and Ben scored before the ball hit the backstop.
Christian Carlisle batted .500 today and lowered his batting average. Conversely, all the Team USA batters that hit .500 today raised their batting averages. Shows you where he's coming from. Edge, Nationals.
Hats off to Team USA. They played a perfect game in the field and hit the snot out of the ball. On the field they are a fun-loving lot. Despite the stress of such a close game, both teams were joking and in good spirits. Fun game, thanks guys. Umpires too; they could see how much fun we were having and called the game to accomodate the fun. And we had a few fans, they added to the fun, there was some cheering when Robbie Brenay made a long running catch into the fence in center field, and a little bit of cheering from the other side when USA finally got their first hit. And it really got fun when the tiny car came on the field and 18 midget clowns got out...good times!
|11||Sat Jun 16||12:15 PM||Hazel Park||Cubs||L||6||2|
Is It Hot Out Here, Or Is It Just Me?
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 R H E
Pitching. Awesome. Let's just stick to that. Ian McWilliams started, Joey Lawnicki relieved, 1 earned run between them. The defense made them work hard in the heat, but that's a good thing since they both applied for the Dancing Bear job opening.
Ian was a master of changing speeds inducing weak contact - only 2 outfield putouts recorded. The only walk allowed was the lead-off batter. It took this long to learn the unique strike zone. Once learned, no more free passes and no more earned runs.
Joey was a master of deception inducing weak contact - only 2 outfield putouts recorded. The only walk allowed was the lead-off batter in the 6th inning. It took this long to learn the Cubs really didn't want to swing. Once learned, no more free passes and no earned runs.
The Nats offense had a lot of runners on base. However, in 13 plate appearances with runners in scoring position, Only Andy Gury, and Gabe Blanco came through with hits, Joey drew a bases-loaded walk for an RBI. The rest of the lineup...um...didn't. We did steal 4 bases. Damian Muniz had a pair, and each McWilliams swiped a sack. Colton also swiped a sack, but that was a sack of potatoes from the galley, and has nothing to do with the game.
The defense wilted in the heat, but did feature Ian displaying his 43" vertical to rob Donavon Travis of a line single. If you recall, Jim had made a 42" vertical the game before. Ian had to repeat. Just as he repeated the stolen base Jim had earlier in the game. It seems like whatever Jim tallies, Ian comes right back with one of his own. "I just wish he'd start hitting dingers" the junior Mac chimed.
|12||Mon Jun 18||8:15 PM||Hazel Park||at Blue Jays||L||16||4|
Blue Jays Win Game, Nationals Win Comedy Punch-out
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 R H E
In a battle of wits after the baseball game, the Nationals upset the birds in a comedy punch-out. The Nationals rattled off 15 jokes in a row, and the Blue Jays had no response. Winner, Nationals! Those in attendance remember such punchlines as "the brick" "not Suzy" and "he gives me a Snickers."
First let's highlight a couple Blue Jays performances. The catcher got dinged by a bat a couple times...maybe his name was Dan? 00? He said he was fine after the game. You don't want that to happen to anyone. But he looked happy leaving. A stretch limo pulled up and the side door opened slowly. As the door opened more you heard the music get louder...a very pedestrian disco beat. When the door opened fully, you saw it was a tiny disco with midgets dancing. Dan left his knee pads on and jumped in, dancing on his knees until the wee hours of the morning.
Blue Jays' slugger Justin Chandler drew 4 walks in his 4 trips to the plate. Pat mentioned Justin's arm might be sore from his masterpiece Saturday and maybe he didn't want to swing, but Justin would hear none of that nonsense. "No" he said "if I don't get sweaty I might get lucky."
And now the moment you've all been waiting for...the NATIONALS highlights.
Jacob Colter...man! The team had 5 hits, JC had 3 of them, and all barreled-up balls. Scored a couple runs, plus he played a helluva catcher. Jacob's ankel is definitely getting better. He even demonstrated a plie, releve and saute right after the game. That was fine, but he didn't have to change into a 1-piece leotard to do it...what is that, cauliflower?
The biggest hitting barrage was back-to-back rips by Ian and Andy in the 7th inning, both directly at outfielders. No hits, but impressive exit velocity on both. And speaking of "velocity," have you heard about the company Ian and Andy started? It's called the velo-SIT-ee. A person sits on a block of soft clay naked, and makes in imprint of their ... um ... sitting side. This is then used as a mold to create a motor cycle seat...complete with a junk-drawer.
Ian and Colton had the two non-Jacob hits, and that was it for the offense. Well, Ian's last joke was pretty offensive. But Colton's anectote was amusing. He originally said "I'm an Air Force mechanic, so I might work on fighter jets." Then he corrected himself and said "actually we're working on the planes that refuel the fighter jets." Then corrected himself again and said "actually, I make the tools that the mechanics use to work on the planes that refuel the fignter jets." Then finally finished with "actually my real name is Bjorn Svensin, I found this Air Force ID and it kind of looks like me."
Another statistical oddity. Adam O'Brien pitched middle relief. He surrendered hits to Kevin and Nick, the most badass of the Blue Jays Badasses. Did you know there is no steroid use in MSBL, just players Kevin has breathed on. And Nick's tears cure cancer...but he's never cried. So after giving up the hits, Adam faced another 10 batters yielding fewer than 1 hit. ...do the math in your head... that's 0.
Robbie Brenay had a much better inning pitched this go round. He attributed the improved control to wearing only 1 wrist taped, "See, the science of compression tells us that improved metaphoric aphorisms are likely due to increased hypo-aerobic-consumption - which is common during the tenons of hurling, if not the issuance of the orb itself." And everyone said "huh?"
|13||Fri Jun 22||8:15 PM||Bicentennial Park||at Brewers||R|
|14||Sun Jun 24||10:00 AM||Fraser||at Tigers||W||11||5|
Alles Gute zum Geburtstag Herr. Muñiz
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 R H E
Today was Joey Lawnicki bobble-head day at Fraser High School. The first 10,000 in attendance took home this attractive trinket. The pose is Joey with Jim's backup bat over his shoulder, his glove stuck on the barrel, and gum in his beard. We had a huge crowd on a "lovely" Sunday morning and the bobble-heads were "sold out" by 8:30am. After all, it was Joey pitching and batting 3rd ... and he certianly didn't disappoint. Cementing his standing as ace of the staff, Joey was consistently over 2,500 spin rate on all his pitches, and was touching 93 on the radar gun. He threw 116 pitches for 124 strikes. He only allowed 4 hits in a 7-inning complete game win, with only 1 earned run allowed.
Today was also Damian Muñiz' birthday. The "Damian's Dames" section was completely sold out. The enthusiastic crowd brandished signs and passed out tofu crisps in his honor. Damian managed a pair of hits and runs scored. Press waited outside the dugout for him, but he snuck out the back way. He had a date with a 6' tall cake and a Speedo.
The top 6 Nats batters all had 2 hits each, except for the cleanup hitter, Colton Rutkowski, who had 3. Colton also reached on error, giving him 4 times on base, equalling Hunter Holt. Hunter tallied a hit and 3 walks. As a bonding experience at the post-game picnic, Colton and Hunter whispered to each other and giggled, then disappeard behind the boat for several minutes. They returned wearing Muskateer costumes shouting "For D'Artagnan" then lunged and riposted their way actross 15 Mile Road.
The Tigers' MVP was "Hairy" Mihas. His in-game banter was like listening to someone pee for a VERY long time...it becomes amusing just because it goes on for so long. He began the game wearing #18, but ended the game wearing #1.8 due to "wearing one" in his 2nd trip to the plate.
Jacob Kahn also had a big day for the home team. Jacob drew a pair of walks, stole 4 bases, and scored twice. The "Jacob Kahn Fan Bus" arrived full of adoring MILFs and Jacob scored twice again.
|15||Sat Jun 30||12:15 PM||Cranbrook||at Cubs||L||6||5|
Cass River Bats Hit Bombs
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 R H E
It was Cass River Bats, and everyone else today. Joey Lawnicki got the ball rolling, as it were, by using the Cass River Bat Nats' team Maple. He burned an outfielder for a lead-off double in the 2nd. "There are like 5 of us guys just strokin' with that thing." "Ewww...that didn't sound right"
Troy Badgerow started the dinger-party by hitting a bomb to left; the Nats' first dinger of the year. Troy had just purchased a Cass River Bat just prior to the game. "I tell ya, that bat's da bomb! ... now if you'z s'cuse me ..." Troy proceeded to setup a disco ball and bowl of Chex Mix, to get the next party started.
After a back and forth game, the Good Guys found themselves trailing by a pair in the 7th. They had the meat of the order coming up, and meaty it was. Ian McWilliams has an exclusive contract, being sponsored by Cass River Bats. Sticking with the NATIONALS logo bat, Ian hit a bomb to nearly the same place as Troy, for the teams 2nd home run of the game, and season for the 'Tionals." Ian explained, "well with my girlfriend in prison, it's just been me and my bat...and I love that bat."
The next contestant in Cass River Bats Play the Fences was Terry Weathers, the Cubs' most respected hitter. Terry was recently presented the Tiger Woods Award by the league, in recognition of his attitude "I'll hit that every day!" In the bottom of the 7th inning, with his team trailing by 2, T-Wet decided it was time for the Hickory Cass River Bat he keeps in stock. Terry put his usual good swing on the ball and one-hop singled off the wall in left. Exit velocity was estimated to be 99.9; the highest possible number for any opponent of the Nationals.
|16||Mon Jul 09||8:15 PM||Hazel Park||at Team USA||P|
|17||Wed Jul 11||8:15 PM||Hazel Park||Dodgers||L||10||2|
Dodgers Even Season Series
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 R H E
Dodgers 3 0 0 4 3 0 10 9 0
Hats off to the Dodgers for playing clean defense. Nats...not so much. 7 unearned runs tarnished what otherwise would have been a tight game. Paranormal investigators from The Discovery Channel immediately began an taking measurements. "We see unusual electro-magenetic fluxuations around the field" a field-tech commented. hmmm....
Nat pitching was good. Adam O'Brien spelled Andrew VanArsdale when the arm wasn't feeling right. Adam threw 3 innings with 0 ER. Ian and Jim McWilliams followed suit with 0 ER each to finish the game. Adam bested Jim 2-1 in shutout innings. Adam also bested Jim 2-1 inches in the receding hairline competition.
Jacob Colter led the offense with another perfect day. A hit and 2 walks produced our only 2 runs. Yesterday Jacob suddenly adopted an all-vegan, high-fiber diet...that produced 2 runs during the game also. Ewww...
Our first run-producing hero was Andy Gury. Andy had been on a Fortnite binge of 28 hours when he realized it was time to go play ball. "I'll sit out" when it was time to play defense. But facing the Dodgers hard-throwing pitcher was just what he needed to wake up. Andy drove home Jacob with a hard-hit single. Andy also had to drive Jacob home after the game. Well, you know Jacob couldn't really sit to drive after the runs...he had to lay on his stomach and SQUEEZE!
The final run-producing hero was Ian McWilliams. He has just broken the Nationals logo bat in the first inning, and he was sad because he loved that bat. Coincidentally, CassRiverBats(.com) had a rep at the field and offered a duplicate bat. "Yeah, I'll take it." then he poked a double past the left fielder for an RBI. "I love this bat!" he quickly declared, and stroked it gingerly - at first...
Jim had the only other hit with a bunt. Third base coach Andy Gury said "I didn't give him the bunt sign, I was on my phone ordering a BUNDT cake from Kroger Bakery." Andy added, "Well, you can't go wrong with Jim bunting, and you can't go wrong with Kroger Bakery bundt cakes. Kroger Bakery offers good-quality baked goods at an affordable price."
Jim and Ian turned the first father-son double play in Walgreen's Nationals history. It was the most perfectly-executed move since Henry VIII did away with Ann Boleyn.
The league's umpire assigner knew there are a lot of buddies on both teams, so they treated us to an all-star duo of umpires that did a great job. The umpires also won the "stay out the latest drinking in the parking lot" game, so hats off to ya's.
|18||Fri Jul 13||8:15 PM||Hazel Park||Diamondbacks||W||17||7|
Tigers Bail Out Nationals
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 R H E
The Nationals could not field a legal team, so the Tigers stepped up and filled the void - AND they brought beer - Winners! They pitched in 5 hits and a walk, good for 4 runs. The Nats and D'Backs both thank you, we wouldn't have a game without you.
The entire Nat's lineup contributed big to the scoring. Every batter had at least a run or an RBI...most has multiples of both. The Hit Parade leader was Troy Badgerow...given the #4 spot due to his recent dinger he responded with 3 hits. "Hits man, dat's where it's at." "When things get crazy and you'z feelz like you'z goin' outsa yow mind, you just need some hits" Troy said.
Kyle Booher of the Diamondbacks matched the feat with 3 hits of his own (plus a walk). "All the time I've played, I wanted to be as good as Troy, and today I am. It's a dream come true."
The tone of the game was set in the first inning. Andrew Mersman was the Diamondbacks starting pitcher. A couple errors led to a lot of unearned runs and made him throw far too many pitches in one inning. Once he got a chance to catch his breath, he was terrific for a few innings, shutting out the Nats 1-2-3 in the second and 3rd. "Well, you know after my stint in Jackson I've learned to handle getting raped by 'The D.'" "It's nothing an ice pack and shot can't fix. We got ice and shots in the parking lot...I'm good."
Ian and Jim McWilliams both got on base all 4 trips to the plate. They were also the battery today with Jim hurling and getting the win. Ian caught, and called the pitches. Later, it was Jim that called the shots and tossed Ian the keys. Jim had a couple manly refreshements and directed the 20-year-old clean-livin' slugger to drive...which relegated Jim to sit on the floor crammed between the two middle seats of a minivan...surrounded by 4 sweaty dudes...ewwww
Ian managed something quite unusual getting 2 hits in the same at-bat. When the Nationals had batted around in the 1st inning, he roped a drive down the left field line in his 2nd at-bat. Almost to the outfield grass, the ball touched ground with a puff of white chalk, right on the line. "Foul!" was the call by the home-plate umpire. The field ump was invited to see the ball mark in the chalk. "I didn't make that call" he said. Ian responded by hitting a 300-foot blast over the left-fielder's head for a 2 RBI double. The ump added "there, he'd rather have that hit anyway."
Colton Rutkowski had a heck of a day when handed the leadoff spot. 3-for-4 with 3 runs scored. "Well you see, this game all boils down to whoever scores the most runs wins; and today I scored the most runs...I'm the Winner!" Colton ripped open his jersey to reveal the famous Charlie Sheen "winning" t-shirt.
Jamie Duncan was on base 3 times for the Diamondbacks. 2 hits and a walk out of the #4 slot for his team. "Of course I'm the logical choice to bat 4th. Everyone else either suffers from Hallux Rigidus, Onychomycosis, or Encephalic Voiditis." He would also be the only person that would know what any of those are without looking them up. He also insisted we mention his pitching performance netting the final of 3 shutout innings the D'backs tossed, plus another inning with 0 earned runs. We lobbied for him to get the start...maybe next time D'b management will take notice.
Adam O'Brien and Eric Toysa were each on base three times as well. Eric's 2 hits and a walk matched Adam's. Wouldn't you know it, they wear matching Bike (tm) Athletic Supporters. How 'bout that? Adam also had an interesting day on the mound. He faced one batter and struck him out..then got pulled. "It's called a one-and-tug." "And since I'll be getting home after midnight on a Friday, there's going to be another one-and-tug a little later."
Clint Berryman tallied a pair of hits, scored a run and knocked in a run, whilst Gabe Blanco turned a FC and BB into 2 Rs and an RBI. After the game, they enjoyed a crisp and refreshing Sierra Nevada Pale Ale. One ale, two straws. Awkward, but even.
The Nationals/Tigers also won the parking lot endurance test with. By the time the Diamondbacks evacuated the parking lot, about 11:50, only 1 Nat/Tiger had left. Now that's a double whammy!
Odd fact, at the end of the game, the Nationals right-side of the infield was a combined 44 years old, but the left side of the infield was 104 years old. How do I make that any funnier than it already is?
|19||Mon Jul 16||8:45 PM||Flat Rock||Brewers||T||2||2|
Pitcher's Duel Ends In Tie
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 R H E
The Brewers had taken the lead in the top of the 6th when the rain came and quickly washed us out. We reverted back to the previous complete inning which was tied. In the previous Brewers/Nationals game rain washed out a 5-1 lead for the Nationals. We each were leading games when rain ended the contest, so it's appropriate to get a tie.
Hats off to the pitchers - you guys were excellent! It was Adam O'Brien going for the home Nationals, with family up from Ohio to see a stellar performance. And it was Dan Smith toeing the rubber for the visiting Brewers. Dan was money with runners on base. Dan didn't have anyone come to see him play. :(
Adam's fastball was overpowering at times. Adam also had a garlic sandwich on garlic bread for dinner, so he overpowered the Nationals dugout as well. Meanwhile, Dan was masterful running the inside curveball for called strikes - and he had the hit that knocked Adam from the mound. Dan's jubilation was short-lived after the game when he found he had been pranked, and his truck had been wrapped in 50 boxes of Saran Wrap, then shot with paintballs.
The batting highlights include the usual names at the top of the order. Damian Muniz had a hit and scored our first run. Jacob Colter was on base all 3 trips. Ian McWilliams had a pair of hits for both RBIs ... but it was Robbie Brenay that took the bull by the horns leading off the 5th when we needed a run to tie. Robbie hit a bullet for a double leading off our final at-bats, then eventually scored the tying run. Just before he batted, Robbie was on the on-deck circle rubbing his hands together saying "yeah....I'm gonna get me some of that!"
Other Nats with hits include Colton Rutkowski, Joey Lawnicki, Hunter Holt and Adam O'Brien with a double. For the Brewers, Evan Morin, Joe Vavro, and Brian Conner had big days. Well, I think so anyway...the scorebook was a little goofed-up, so you guys could have actually been crap...I guess we'll never know.
This may possibly have been the last game Jacob Colter gets to play with us. It's been great having the MO-fo on the Nats. Foremost a great hitter, also a great catcher, then really good at absolutely everything else. Live long and prosper!
|20||Sat Jul 21||12:15 PM||Hazel Park||at Phillies||P|
|21||Wed Jul 25||6:00 PM||Clawson||at Giants|
|22||Sun Jul 29||10:00 AM||Fraser||Expos|
|23||Wed Aug 01||6:00 PM||Capitol Park||Bloomfield A's|
|24||Sat Aug 04||12:15 PM||Grosse Pointe High School||at Mets|
|25||Wed Aug 08||8:15 PM||Capitol Park||at Team USA|
|26||Fri Aug 10||8:15 PM||Bicentennial Park||Giants|
|27||Mon Aug 13||6:00 PM||Capitol Park||at Brewers|