|Motor City Brewers Schedule|
|1||Fri May 19||6:00 PM||Hazel Park||White Sox||W||7||3|
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 R H E
Cold and Windy, 55 down to 48 degrees.
In the scoring column, the White Sox struck first with a pair of ill-begottens runs in the 4th.
The Brewers swiftly retaliated when Don tallied a knock, advancing Ken who had deftly replaced Jim on the basepaths.
The Brewers then "bust it open" as it were, aggrandizing 4 scores in the 5th stanza. The scoring began when Ed drove his first hit of the season to left.
Doug followed with a base on balls, when Ed attempted a stolen base. A botched slide, followed by over-running the base, followed by a disaster of a rundown, and he was safe at second, with a fase-full of infield dust to show for his efforts.
Jeff played "batting cage hero" earlier in the afternoon, so it was no surprise he loaded the bases with a hit the opposite way.
Then Dave...uh....Ed scored anyway.
Curt got on the RBI sheet with a knock that scored Doug. Immediately afterwards, Gene pressured the Sox fielders. When the dust settled, Gene was on 2nd and Curt on 3rd.
Bryan followed with a sharp single to left center scoring both runners. Good job Byran - ATTA BOY!
A piling-on occurred in the 6th inning when the Brewers mercilessly struck twice more.
Kenny G got us started by out-hustling the Pale Hose fielders, then stealing second. Seeing a gaping hole in right-center, Jim slapped a single. After staying off the bases all day for a courtensy runner, #6 selfishly decided to run for himself. He stole second, then stole third, and finally came home on a SAC by Mark. And what a lovely SAC Mark had.
The sox did touch us up once more in the 7th. It was the beastly Greg Chastang with a missle of a SAC fly, driving home SS Marvin who had reached on an iffy single.
The after-party was great, even in the cold.
|2||Wed May 31||8:15 PM||Hazel Park||at Great Lakes Bengals||T||9||9|
1 2 3 4 5 6 R H E
The Brewers really controlled every aspect of this game. They hit the snot out of the ball, the outfield played a great game, and Bryan was Hurculean on the mound...we also gave the Bengals all their runs by kicking the ball around...so yeah, we controlled all the scoring.
This was a game of hard-throwing pitchers. The Bengals started that guy that threw hard...and we had Bryan. Then the Bengals switched to some other guy, and we stuck with Bryan. And there was much rejoicing!
The offensive contributor's list reads like the batting order...a sign of keen managerial foresight.
Nascently, we had the skipper in leadoff tonight. Beloved #6 did manage 2 walks and a hit in his 3 appearances at the plate. Scored all three times, he did. Add a stolen base for statistical diversity.
My initial comment regarding our second-place hitter is that Kenny G did, with flourish, present a grandstand catch in the outfield. An addendum to the expert fielding was his batting attempts. Collecting a hit and walk was precurser to a pair of scores.
The three-hole belonged to Don, contributing 3 hits, 1 double, 2 runs, 2 RBI, 1 stolen base...9 points to lead the PICK THE STICK game. Don presented us with the first of the noteworthy outfield plays, going SUPERMAN all over their asses.
In the cleanup spot we featured Mark fresh off a broken bat. He did tally a hit accompanied by a Runs-Batted-In trifecta.
Ed parlayed pressure into success in the fourth, driving the ball and setting runners into motion. A pair of Brewers scored whence the commotion settled. In the sextant period, he did repeat-the-feat, as it were. Though it was for naught, being thrown out a the plate. If only the coach did a better job telling him to RUN! After all, they don't call it "walking the bases"
Doug earned base-running rights twice, and tallied a knocker that yielded a run. All this, in spite of the agony he endured at the hands of a dorsal ache that impeded his impetus.
Kenny Ballgame struck fear into the heart of the Great Lakes' pitchers, nary drawing strikes; walks were his order of the day. Nothing else to see here - move along.
Jeff did also draw a free-pass and chalked a run for his effort. Expand the accolades to accomote his role in the Brewer Outfield dandiness.
The team meeeting was short, but quite entertaining. Most guys limited themselves to 1 nightcap or fewer - not the pros, mind you...but most.
|3||Wed Jun 07||8:15 PM||Capitol Park||Cardinals||W||10||6|
1 2 3 4 5 6 R H E
Beerists Cage Birds
It was a one-inning ambush. 2nd time through the order and the Brew Dudes figured it out all at once. The near-capacity crowd had come in all ages, sizes, and colors. They reveled in delight as 13 Brewmasters reached base in a row. When the dust cleared it was a massive 10-run outburst, and applause did rain down for much longer than one might anticipate. Those dashing Daves, and media mogul Jim each had 2-RBI base knocks. Double-Barrel's was the sweetest, burning the OF for a 2-ding double. DBrown had all the tarts soggy with that sexy long ball. Curt, the new boy and the toast of the town, had the hit that tied the game, DLentz put us up by 2 and elicited such an ovation it nearly brought the stands down. Jim drove in a pair later, but nobody seemed to notice.
Special felicitations go to Don, the team heartthrob, who laced a triple over the centerfielder's head. Not part of the scoring barrage, but the mightiest blast of the day, thrilling the throng.
Another noteworthy event included 3 of the most popular Brewers. Sir Lentzalot, Fry Baby, and Kenny Baseball broke bats in 3 consecutive plate appearances...all 3 reaching base safely. Fortune smiles on our heroes that the Cass River Van was well-stocked with quick replacements.
The Cards figured out Ken late in the game, but with the score secure, the home fans little worried. Upon completion of the game, mobs of adoring Kenny G devotes bestowed laurels on beloved #12 for a game perfectly crafted.
The defense was pretty reliable tonight. Good job fellas! The most-memorable play was in the top of the 6th. The Cardinals had Darrin leading off - a notoriously hard-hitting slugger. The two cartoon characters, Stoney and Ed, had been sharing 1B. (Ed is definitely Hannah Barbara, while Stones is more of a Late Night Swim kind of guy). Stoney delighted the crowd and had played the inning previous, so he ceded "you take this one Ed, everyone came to see YOU". At the end of the inning, Motor City's darling boy, Ed barked "you lousy so-and-so, you put me at 1B with the one left-hander in the league that can get 100mph off the bat."
The second-most memorable play was actually neither a play either. As the light in the sky became the same brightness as the ball - the gloam - it became inreasingly difficult to locate the ball against the sky. Runners were in scoring position. Pop up to center field. Curt never saw the ball, it was lost in a blank mottle of shadows. He had the good sense to take an athletic stance and bring his glove into catching position. The runners held. The ball dropped about 25' away, but they couldn't take advantage, having been fooled by the guise.
Rounding out the top 3 plays was Stoney (not calling him "Scoophouse" today) making a quick sprint and leaving his feet to catch a little buck snort. He got up, brushed himself off, looked in his glove expectantly, nodded in satisfaction and presented the ball. OUT!
An honorable mention goes to a play that was also a hit Curt fielded. He was playing center field. There was a runner on 1B. A shot in the gap to left-center. It seemed sure to split the outfielders and do multiple-base damage. However, Curt got after it and cut it off before gapping, holding the runners to one base. These are the kinds of plays that win games.
|4||Wed Jun 14||6:30 PM||Flat Rock||at Tigers||P|
|5||Tue Jun 20||6:00 PM||Hazel Park||The Tribe||L||2||0|
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 R H E
Enraged Tribe Scalps Helpless Brewers
Erik was a marvel at keeping the Brewers off-balance. Through four innings, he had allowed a single hit, but still faced the minimum. Jim was touched for single runs in the 2nd and 3rd innings. Everything on the infield was gobbled up, but everything that got solid barrel found an outfield gap. In a post-game interview, Jim said "..I had good command of 4 pitches, even if I didn't have good zip on my fastball. I was hitting spots...just that sometimes the spots I wanted were also the spots the batters wanted...so..."
The final 3 hits off Carpenter loaded the bases in the 5th. Erik gave way to Chris Yates, who slammed the door. Yates gave up a hit and a pair of walks along the way, but the fastball put some of the Brewers in their place; 4 out of 9 batters were out on strikes. Likewise, Doug Fry came in to finish for the Brewers and tossed a hitless, shutout inning. When Doug spoke to media after the game he said "yeah I'll have one more - three's my limit."
Mark was the defensive hero, starting a pair of double plays in the 2nd and 4th innings. This fun, close game would not have been so, had 33 not reigned in those 2-for-1 deals. Nod to DLentz for turning them. Mark and Dave were later spotted at Dollar Castle, rifling through the clearence bin (looking for 2-for-1 deals...get it?).
Shout out to Dave Brown behind the plate. Just when it looked like the offense might break through, Double Barrel gritted his teeth and played several very impressive innings with the game on the line - handling the pitches in the dirt Jim HAD to make. Dave's mom took in the game and said afterwards "what a travesty to play so well and not be rewarded with a win. Everybody should get a win in a game like that. Hell, WINS for everybody, I'm buying!" Then she collapsed in a pool of vomit smelling of gin. No wait, that was John Bohnam.
Absolutely the best play of the day was Bryan, running to get a band-aid for Jim's big toe...Thanks Bud! He also broke a bat and bought a new one...Thanks Bud!
The best at-bat of the night was the big guy at 1B, #56. It's a sub jersey, so he's probabaly one of the #0s with no picture. Anyway, the dude fouled off 15 pitches in a row. Eventually Jim won the battle, but it was hard-fought and may have played a part in Jim's inability to finish the game. In a post-game interview, Jim said "yeah, that dude fouled off a lot of pitches."
|6||Fri Jun 23||6:00 PM||Hazel Park||Blue Jays||L||12||3|
Mike Wakes Up Crappy From His 2 Hour Nap
He makes the hour-plus drive to Jim's house, to carpool the remainder of the journey. Tonight's destination: Hazel Park's Bob Welch Field. Jim isn't home, he's already at the park reserving the tree-side benches. Mike deals with the usual traffic buffoons one might encounter on such a pair of drives and arrives in a somewhat surly mood.
Mike is not in the starting lineup, and things look bleak. After 3 tortuous innings watching all his mates flail miserably at what seemed very hittable pitches, he was suprised to get the call..."add 65 to the bottom of the lineup" skipper calls out. Gimme that helmet...gimme that bat...wait, my gloves! Mike begins to plan his attack...
Smack! A ball in the hole between short and third. Mike takes off from the box and seems to have a vigor not seen in years. Midway it became more of a ... "I hope I don't fall down" sorta thing, but perseverence pays off and Mike is safe at first for the Brewer's first hit of the game.
Next time up, Mike safely reached base again. Once he occupied first base, he was hungry for second. Jeff (one of Mike's team mates), was on third base. Mike took advantage and advanced to second on a wild pitch. The next batter, another of Mike's team mates, hit a good drive into the left-center field and Mike scored from second. Mike was surprised the third base coach waved him home. Dave probably had the sun in his eyes.
Mike almost made a grandstand play when he was catching late in the game. He was looking to keep up with the nice catch Dave made a few innings prior. In Mike's instance, he grazed the corner of the dugout in his pursuit of the ball. Throwing him off balance just enough to look much like a sack of potatoes rolling down the stairs.
His next comic performance was a passed ball that happened to be ball 4 with the bases loaded. Casual to the ball and the third baseman on Mike's team yelled out "he's coming!" Mike looked over his shoulder to asses the situation..."damn"... Mike dashed for the ball but an unfortunate circumstance did befall, leading him to go down in a heap just as he was throwing the ball.
Then Mike went to his cousin's house, and wrote the game recap with him.
Editor's Note: the remainder of text is not focused enough on Mike, but the rest of the team. Dele from print but retain for historical reference:
Mike did notice that his team's starting pitcher, Gene, effectively kept the Blue Jays off balance. Gene did rack up a few strikeouts, including the first batter of the game.
In fairness, Mike would like to prop Ed. It was Mike's batting-cage HBP victim that had the booming blast to score 2 runs.
Mike's regular shortstop, Doug, took an inning on the mound. Mike reports on the deception in Doug's pitches. "I mean it's like he's throwing from right out of his face at you." "You get the one that has that late movements to it...and it's like, wow, right in your face." "It's deceiving because he hides the release of the ball, you know what I'm saying?"
Mike also had comments on Bryan. "My hand is still numb from catching one inning of Bryan." "He throws hard...he throws real hard." "And when he gets zeroed in, those are the ones that get me in the palm." "There are some that you can't get in the web with him." "It's kind of nice to see the breaking ball."
Mike was happy that he ran the bases for himself. Mike was also happy that he did 3 innings of ..ahem... catching. Mike is most happy that he scored the run himself, "thanks to all you courtesy runners that scored those runs for me the last two years."
After the game, Mike was sitting with his team mates and an unusual predicament did occur. The Brewers RAN OUT OF BEER! But Mike did think the bike was cool. It was a standard kind of bike, but outfitted with rope lights along the frame and devices in the spokes emitting more photonic joy.
|7||Thu Jun 29||6:00 PM||Hazel Park||Braves||W||13||11|
Brewers Prevail in Unconvincing Fashion
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 R H E
The Brewers came out slugging, scoring early and scoring big. Then wilted and nearly handed the game away. In retrospect, the weather conditions dried out the players. With no defensive subs on the bench, the Brewers all got tired at the same time, having to play every inning in the heat. Add to that, everyone was on base early in the game, running the bases, so nobody got a break. Given that perspective, it was a hard-fought win and we all battled through it to post a W.
Ken Grawburg was our hero on the mound. He had the Braves pretty mesmerized by the big bender. That was his best pitch at keeping them off balance. "Still no stolen bases against me" is all he had to say on the post-game show. Ken dropped the mic and walked off stage.
The Brewers welcomed Art Wakeford to his first game with us. He really looked good in the vegas gold jersey...and it was his favorite number. Art did a great job...and his angry fastball really had zip to it (you'd be angry if you had to watch what happened behind him). Art struck out a batter when the defense couldn't make a play, and that really got the ship righted. That strike out came with the tying run on 2nd base and only 1 out. Art earns a save in what turned out to be a close game. Big time there! When he was asked to say something to the press, he stomped a photographer on the foot, upper-cut the Gatorade Girl, and squealed rubber out of the parking lot on his 2006 VRSCSE2 Harley.
Now the big story that shoudn't get lost - the hitting. 13 runs in 3 innings was an explosion of offense. So many guys had big days. 6 hitters reached base more than once. All the starters reached base safely at least once. It was vintage champion Brewers hitting display...complete with moonshine victory shots at the team meeting.
Leading the way was the cherubic Jeff Young. In 4 trips to the plate, he tallied 2 doubles and a walk. He scored twice, had an RBI, and a stolen base. Jeff led the Pick-To-Stick game with 8 points (had to subract one for the K), After the game, Jeff said "hey coach, did you notice I had two doubles?"
Dave Brown had arguably the biggest day even though he only posted 7 in the Pick-to-Stick. Double Barrel was 2-for-3 and still managed to reach base every time up. In the 2nd inning, his first hit drove in the aforementioned Jeff, in the 3rd inning he drove in Jeff and Doug (stay tund for Doug...). He also came around to score on those plays. For those keeping score at home, that's 2 hits, 2 runs, 3 RBI, 3/3 on base. Those RBIs put him in a tie for the team lead. After the game, Dave said "going to my daughter's game now, they're 5-0."
Third in the Pick-To-Stick game with 6 points was Don Zane. Back in his comfortable leadoff spot, DZ rapped a single and double, knocking in Gene, and scoring both times. When asked if it was more comfortable hitting in the leadoff spot, Don said "I don't know if I'll make the game next week, I'm going up north."
Doug Fry was the other Beer-Batter to tally a multi-hit game. Dougie drove a pair of singles in the 2nd and 3rd. He was smack-dab in the middle of the 7-run third inning, therfore counts a run and an RBI for his efforts. Doug said "get me a blackberry."
The leading memorable play had to be the hit-by-pitch strikeout. Jim turned out of the way as he always does on inside pitches, and got plunked on the elbow. STRIKE THREE!
The second memorable play was Ed getting smacked in the face by the 2nd batter of the game. It split his nose, broke his glasses and wrenched his back. He accepted the Brave's apology and carried on...on a bag of ice and a handful of ibuprofen. You don't want to know what Ed said after the game. Just imagine Ed talking, and there you go.
Jeff's second double, he made a pretty nice pop slide into second base. That was, without doubt, Jeff's best slide ever. Keep it up! After the game, Jeff said "hey coach, did you notice I had two doubles?" (would it be ironic if he really said it twice?)
Ed made a great scoop on a ball Jim threw. The umpire neglected to move out of the way, and Jim could not see first base, or Ed...but he knew which direction they HAD to be, so he just threw into the dark. The ball was directly on target, but low. Ed stayed with it and scooped it on a short-hop for a marvelous put-out. Immediately, Jim blurted "you're my hero!"
Mike continued his quick start with the bat, earning another hit, and maintaining his team-leading .500 batting average. Mike said "soyanara" and headed off to work.
Ken Grawburg also had a nice day at the plate, with a hit and a walk. 2 RBI, 2 runs, and 3 stolen bases. Add that to his pitching performance, and he gets PLAYER OF THE GAME for his effort. Ken didn't say anything about that, he's too humble.
|8||Wed Jul 05||6:30 PM||Flat Rock||at Blue Jays||L||9||3|
Dud...Lose...Drink, What else is there?
1 2 3 4 5 6 R H E
First, thanks to Yukon Don for showing up in mere minutes when the Brewers were short-handed. The dude even got on base 50% and stole second base. And to top it off, a fine running catch in right field with the sun crashing his corneas. Hats off to Don! When asked about his performance, Don remarked "I have to see a man about a dog" and drove off in his gentleman-blue convertible.
Jim McWilliams pitched, and it took him the entire first inning to find his control. By that time, it was pretty much settled. Outside of his first HBP in 3 years, he was actually 'okay' the rest of the way; he didn't issue another walk after those first 3...so that's a moral victory at least. Instead of answering questions at the post-game interview, Jim and Mike performed Frank Zappa's 'C*cks*cker's Ball' to an indifferent crowd.
After a hit leading off the second, Mark Stanisz pulls a hammy. He stays and bats, to offer what he can, but he's done in the field. Mike Abke goes in at catcher, and Dave Brown moves to third. Brilliant managerial call - both guys did a fantastic job defensively. At third, Dave made an incredible diving stop that was in Brooks Robinson's class. Later a ball got through his legs more of what you might expect from Garth Brooks. Let's start callin him "Brooks." We asked Mark about Dave's game with the glove and Mark said "thanks for the ice."
Ed Alberts may find himself a permanent DH/babysitter if he keeps hitting like this. 2-for-3 with all 3 RBIs. The first Brewer to 10 hits. Afterwards, his teammates tried to laud his hitting acumen, but Ed deferred, "it's the glasses. I have 4 hits in 4 at-bats with them" then added mysteriously, "...and the sheep are nervous."
Ken Grawburg is making a charge in early MVP talks. On base all 3 times again today, 2 hits and a walk. A pair of stolen bases, a pair of runs. Hey, nice pair! At the press conference, Ken stepped to the mic; instead of answering questions, he offered a review of 'The Four Branches of The Mabinogi', classic Welsh literature. "A lively and often whimsical rendering of a medieval-Welsh quartet of tales that are of supreme importance to our understanding of Celtic storytelling tradition." To which Gene shouted from the back "Bufoon, 'Le Morte Darthur' is superior in content, character development, and critical acclaim."
The only other hit of the day was a double by McWilliams, so it was a well-pitched game by the Blue Jays' John Horning and Dave Ruczko. When asked how he felt about his performance today, John barked "I struck out, okay...how do you THINK it feels?" "Jeeze, and it was going MAYBE 40 miles per hour...it was this extreme changeup thing that ... ARGH!" Dave patted him on the butt and said "he meant your PITCHING..."
Finally, congratulations to both defenses. Only 1 error on each side. That's as much as you can ask from us AMATEURS.
|9||Mon Jul 10||8:15 PM||Hazel Park||at Cardinals||P|
|10||Sun Jul 16||5:30 PM||Hazel Park||The Tribe||L||15||5|
Slugfest Decided By Gloves
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 R H E
The injuries are starting to come around for the Brewsters. Dave Lentz waived off the courtesy runner for the first time this year. He even pitched 5 innings earlier in the day for the 35 Ds. Curt returned after missing some time with a gnarly foot thing. Jim's legs allowed him to run for himself for the first time in a month. Mark's hammy was well enough to play. Almost there...
Bryan was to be the day's insipient hurler (look it up once and get it over with, I'm going to use that word a lot). So I have some good news, and some bad news. The good news is that Bryan's wife tried to be nice and took his car into the shop for some work. The bad news is that Bryan's uniform and baseball equipment were locked inside - and the place isn't open on Sunday. Rifle around the house and turn up a glove and spikes...off to a good start. Be warned, Bryan has never played on metal spikes. It figures that DICK'S would fill the need in his pants. A call to Double Barrel to secure a jersey. Jim brings a helmet and bat...TADA!
Jim arrived early to secure the tree...very early...3:55. He thought the game was at 5:00. No problem. Carry all the gear to the bench, including the big green camping chair and take a 45-minute nap.
DLentz was slated to bat leadoff (been hittin' the snot out of the ball lately). Ed was scheduled for the #4 slot. Their 3:00 Ds game ran later than hoped. Juggle the lineup last minute and put Doug a the top and move Mark to cleanup. They make it by the bottom of the 1st, and won the Ds game in thrilling fashion.
The hitting and pitching were fine, but we went out and played a stinker of a game in the field. But enough whining...
Kenny G and Jim did some hitting in the cage before the game, and only failed to reach base once between them - each with a pair of hits and a stolen base. DLentz had a double, single, and scored twice. After Bryan's frazzled morning, he posted a 2-for-2 on base day with a hit and a HBP. Ken gets the nod for Player of the Game, because he added a pair of RBIs.
If you overlook the walks, Bryan pitched a good game. 5 hits in 4 innings is actually holding the Tribe down. Only 1 earned run. He didn't give up a hit until the last batter in the order. Art got us through the tough innings when the game was out of hand.
|11||Sun Jul 16||7:45 PM||Hazel Park||at The Tribe||L||7||4|
Lead Flip-Flops and Lands on Tribe
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 R H E
5 straight hits with 2 outs (and an error, making the runs unearned) by the Tribe in the 5th was the game decider. Ken Grawburg (make sure you get the right one, there were 2 here tonight) was our pitcher, and handled the Tribe with aplomb.
The lineup was back to the manager's intent. He must be some kind of genius, because the number 1, 2 and 3 hitters were all on base twice. 4-7 were on base once each. Yeah, that means 8-11 got shut out, but we don't speak of such things...at least, not at length.
Big Days at Bat:
|12||Thu Jul 20||6:00 PM||Capitol Park||at Tigers||W||15||2|
Brewers Halt Losing Streak
1 2 3 4 5 6 R H E
The Tigers and Brewers are always fun games because of the brotherhood. It's a boat-load of friends on both sides, and makes for nice company. Once the game started, it was classic Brewers all over again. A perfect game defensively, a pitching masterpiece, and bats galore made for a lopsided victory. After the game, the Brewers kicked back in lounge chairs and enjoyed broiled pizza rolls and taco-somethings - so they win the after-game party, too.
To start, Jim doesn't mind patting himself on the back for a well-pitched game. Only 2 batters reached base twice. Bob Knoell had Jim's number all day with 2 hits and a walk in 3 trips. The only other Tiger to reach base twice was Glenn. Outside of those, Jim gave up only 2 more hits. Greg flared a single, Then Anthony drilled a 2-run double. After that, it was nothingsville for the Tigers...but those cats were groovy with it, you know man?
Gene came in and closed the door pitching a hitless, shutout final inning. It looks like he likes pitching, and wants to do more of it. After the game, Gene had a piece of peanut shell stuck to his front tooth, and he looked like a hillbilly with a tooth missing (think Mt. Dew Throwback). Nobody told him, we let him smile with it for an hour.
The Brewers had 7 players with 2 hits: Don, KennyG, Jim, DLentz, Jeff, Gene, Doug. The noteworth story here is that Jeff reaches .300 AVG. He started chilly, but has gotten hot with the weather. After the game, he also admitted that he still gets hot with his 1977 Farrah Faucet poster. Yeah, we understand.
Don Zane popped up in the 2nd inning with the bases loaded and remarked "gosh, I just can't get an RBI." At least, it sounded kind of like "gosh." In his next 2 plate appearances, 4 runs scored (3 RBI and an error). So quit yer belly-achin' Nancy! ... I mean, ATTA BOY!
Talk about RBIs, gotta give props to the top of the order again. The game kinda went like this: top of the order clubs, and scores runs. Bottom of the order gets on base, and top of the order clubs and drives them in. Lather, rinse, repeat. Don, KenG and Jim had 3-3-4 for 10 RBIs.
Before the game, Don Zane, Ken Grawburg and Jim McWilliams were seen sneaking behind the utility building down the right-field line. 10 minutes later, they came out, followed by 3 midget clowns with Trump protest signs. No explanation seems logical. Then the game started and it was a classic Brewers first inning. Don led off with a triple. Ken drew a walk and stole 2nd. Jim drove them in with a single. After the magnificient outburst, the fans started rolling in, in droves (at least one on each side).
Doug maybe had the best day at the plate, nabbing 2 hits and a walk in his 3 appearances. He scored all 3 times, and apparently he plans to keep on scoring...he told us so at the team meeting <ahem>.
Dave Lentz was perfect at the plate also...triple, walk, single. Boy, that triple in the first inning was a beaute. It gave us a comfortable lead before we even had to take the field. That hit set the tone of the game. This was a romp because of that single hit. Dave couldn't stick around after the game, because his home security system on his phone alerted him that his pet snake was out, and headed towards the mongoose's room!
Ed brought Grant, and they are always a joy. It cuts into Ed's playing time a bit keeping a close eye on the boy, but we had 13 guys today and Grant had a good time. He even iced his arm after the game just like Jim, and Mark's hamstring. The ice wasn't very cold anymore, but it was better than a sharp stick in the eye.
Mark's hamstring was seen hanging out at the local topless bar. He couldn't get in, because hamstrings don't have IDs...but you can tell he was just itching for trouble. Darn hamstring. You try to set a good example and teach them how to live right, and this is the thanks you get? Well...see if I bail you out next time you don't have enough money for video games! - darn hamstring. At least it was better than 3 days ago. I'll skip the details, but it's quite unsettling when you wake to the FBI knocking at your door at 3am. Darn hamstring.
Hey, speaking of both defenses playing good games, Curt played a bunch at third base (darn hamstring) and did a great job. After the game, he showed everyone his new tatoo on his back. It's a calculator with the number 5318008. You only get it when he stands on his head.
Ken Stonehouse had a great day at the plate and never hit the ball. 2 walks, a stolen base, and 2 runs scored. That's the way to take advantage! Ken also guffawed at a vintage 70s Schwinn Stingray, but made up for it by foot-massaging Mark's hamstring (darn hamstring).
|13||Sat Jul 22||12:15 PM||Novi High School||Tigers||W||10||0|
Brewers Bring the Bacon
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 R H E
Dave Lentz on the hill for the first time this season for the Brewers. What a marvel - pound, pound, pound goes the strikezone ... which of course means Dave Brown's hands go pound, pound, pound, too...but that's another story. DLentz's line goes like this: 4IP 0R 0BB 4K. His current pickup line is "hey babe, wanna hold my guinea pig?" Wonder how that's working? He seemed to come to the park smiling.
And what a park. Hats off to the Novi politicians for rigging that millage vote. What a beautiful astro-turf field.
After the Brewers' perfect game in the field Thursday, we committed just one error today. Maybe now that we're playing more often, we're getting sharper. It also could be the steriods the coach is sneaking into everyone's water is starting to take effect.
Doug Fry had the big day at the plate. 2-for-2 with a walk, 2 runs, 2 stolen bases. Then he pitched 3 scoreless innings and earned the save. Player of the game, right there. No slant to DLentz, he was the superior pitcher, but Doug added the divine day at the plate. Gotta be that bat.
Jim McWilliams and Mark Stanisz were the other Brewers with 2 hits. Jim's first hit drove in the game's first run. His second hit was a sweet bunt leading off the 3rd inning, that I'm sure Ed objects to somehow. Mark got the 5-run 2nd-inning rally going with a single to left, and scored. In the 6th, he was smack dab in the middle of a 3-run rally with a single to left and his 2nd run-scored.
Curt McNamara, Ken Stonehouse, and Gene Bennett each used a walk to reach base twice...couple hits, safe on error. They also each scored runs. So it was no surprise that after they game they all went to the restroom at the same time.
A noteworthy stat is that now that Jeff Young has climbed over .300 AVG, he tagged another double to come to a team-tie with KennyG's 3 doubles. Jeff arrived after the lineup was posted and had to bat last, but he really responded. He had the bases-loaded, bases-clearing double that capped the 5-run 2nd inning. This was the hit that broke the game open. when asked to speak about it after the game, he declined, citing the same ailment that afflicted George Brett in the 1980 World Series (let's see who remembers).
Finally, Dave Brown didn't learn his lesson about Mickey on Thursday and got hit in the hand again. This time it looks like real damage. Fortunately for the Brewers, Mike Abke was able to step up and finish behind the plate. Keep that finger iced Dave. At least it's not his "Internet" hand.
|14||Tue Jul 25||8:15 PM||Clawson||at Cardinals||W||11||3|
Trump Cancels Summit to Watch Brewers @ Cardinals
1 2 3 4 5 6 R H E
President Trump was scheduled to meet with the leader of Beerzikstan Tuesday. Instead they had a little dinner at Trumps on 8 Mile, then the cavalcade diverted to Clawson to attend a baseball game between 2 local teams, the Detroit MSBL Cardinals hosting the Motor City Brewers.
Trump and his entourage sat in lawn chairs his servicemen found in an open van along the left field fence. "That number 2, from his back side, you can tell he works out" the President remarked.
"First, you have to have a strong foreign policy, then you have to score early, like the Brewers did" the President offered. "That Ken Grawburg, man he's something - he runs the bases like the rest of the field is in slow motion."
When asked if Grawburg was player of the game, the president declared "Oh no, it was Dave Lentz, he got a hit every time. I haven't seen perfection like that since Barry Goldwater was involved in that business in Borneo." Suddenly, Mike Abke slapped Trump in the back of the head and said "2-for-2 dufus." The Prez meekly responded "My bad."
CBS News correspondent Dan Rather asked the President "Tell us what you thought of the pitching." Trump said "That Bryan Crutchfield fella, he can throw hard, and their big hitter closed the game pitching too. Just Marvelous. It reminds me of the time Ron Popeil unveiled the Pocket Fisherman. There was this dancer named..." A Secret Service agent abruptly whispered to the President and he said "I meant to say there were no dancers in town at all...hrumph."
"In closing, allow me to heap laurels on the defenses that played tonight...maybe one error on each side if you are a tough scorekeeper...but...the Brewers did throw a lot of balls to the backstop." Mike crept up behind Trump again, and slapped him in the back of the head again, and blustered, "You try being 51 and catching 6 innings...What's this guy got against me?"
That's when Secret Service men hauled Mike away.
|15||Sun Jul 30||12:15 PM||Fraser||at White Sox||W||9||5|
Brewers Prevail in Steamy Nail-Biter
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 R H E
Don't let the 4 WhiteSox errors fool you, this was a well-played game in the field for both teams...especially Dave Marvin for the WhiteSox. He played shortstop and had the best day in the field for either side.
Noteworthy plays included Jeff Young's long run back to haul in a Todd Zubatch long fly to end the 5th. Jeff and Todd were teammates for many years on the Mariners, but something had to give. Between Todd's eructations, and Jeff's flatulations, it was a toxic mix and had to be banned by the EPA.
Another awesome play was registered by Mark Stanisz. He was on triple-deck and taking swings just outside the gate. Ken Grawburg hit a high pop-up right to Mark, who caught it one-handed, and wrong-handed. Then he threw back a ball covered in pine tar. Maybe THAT is why Brian B (Sox pitcher) seem to regain his control late in the game....hmmm.....
The Brewers pulled off a rare 6-5-4 double play. That was neat. The Google Satelite was directly over the field exactly at that time. If you GOOGLE MAPS Fraser High School then zoom in full, you can see Jim stretching to catch the 2nd out, with the ball about 2' in front of him.
Dominant pitching was all the rage today. Ken Grawburg got the start at his homiest diamond. Dad was on hand to enjoy a beautiful day, and his boy just MOW through the WhiteSox order first time through. One batter reached base after all 11 had batted. The lone base-knock was tallied by the Sox' Gerry Garcia, swinging a Cass River Lumber Co. Norm Cash model...that explains it right there. Ken earns his team-leading 3rd win. However, joy turned to sadness when Ken got home to find to find the kids had added flour to the pool, instead of chlorine. "It's really warm, actually, but it's a bit thick to really enjoy" the deflated lefty sighed.
Art Wakeford (one of the few people whose last initial has more syllables than his last name) came in to throw 2 scoreless innings and earn a save. Art racked up a pair of strikeouts, and was the recipient of the fancy double play. He also got a singing candy-gram after the game, which turned out to be a mistake. There is an Arthur Wakeford in Fraser, England that was just nominated for the Victoria Cross.
And finally the Brewers' offense. There is no greater spectacle in all of mankind, than the Brewers' ability to put up multiple crooked numbers in a game. Perhaps a lap-dance from Aphrodite would be such a spectacle...but the gods do not qualify as "mankind." The top 6 batters reached base 14 times - plus...
Doug Fry had another perfect day at the plate. This guy has made like 1 out in the last 4 games. I guess he finally found the right bat. Doug's second hit knocked in a pair of runs...and that was only good enough to be his second-favorite pair of knockers he hit this weekend.
Curt McNamara led the team slugging today with a single and double. Curt scored twice and had a ribbie for a snack. He was offered a beer after the game, but declined "creatine tastes awful in beer!" then he dropped and ripped off 24 one-arm pushups.
Now tell me, did you fall for the Google Maps gag?
|16||Tue Aug 01||6:00 PM||Hazel Park||at Mudville||W||9||7|
Brewers Pull a Rabbit out of the Hat
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 R H E
There are 4 major stories from the game tonight.
1) The Brewers had a blow-up inning allowing 4 unearned runs in the 3rd, but hammer back to pull off a last-inning victory. Jim McWilliams pitched for the Brewers and got clobbered in the first inning giving up 4 hits and 3 doubles, for a pair of runs. "You know, sometimes you hit your spot...but with the wrong pitch." Jim righted the ship, though and didn't give up an earned run over the next 4 innings, including striking out the side in order for his final inning. "Hey guys, I struck out the side in order!" he exclaimed, then stuck out his tongue, stick his tumbs in his ears, and flapped his hands as if moose antlers swaying to and fro. Art Wakeford took over and earned the win pitching the final two innings. Art barely warms up first, he's a one-kicker. "Warming up is over-rated. You just need to find your inner peace and be one with the game. It's so groovy to just live inside the moment." Art picked a dandelion and stuck it over his right ear and walked off into the sunset (but his ride was the other direction...goofy hippy).
2) Mark Stanisz was moved to the #3 slot in the lineup and went 4-for-4. A double, 2 runs, 2 RBI. You couldn't ask for a bigger day...well, maybe you could ask, but you wouldn't get it. The Brewers scored every inning Mark batted. He's really loving that bat; it fits like a glove --- odd analogy --- When the newspaper reporters caught up with Mark in the parking lot, the first question was "what has you hitting so well?" Mark immediately struck a CRAB MOST MUSCULAR pose and said "it's all about the pecs."
3) Don Zane goes 3-for-4 with 6 stolen bases and 5 runs scored (3 credited to him, to be fair). Most games, a day like that steals the show. Not only did Don jump-start the offense with his own batting expoits, but he got to courtesy-run for Mark, then Curt, in consecutive at-bats in the 7th inning - stealing his way around and scoring both times. Those runs were the tying and go-ahead runs of the game. Mark may have had the divine day, but Don won the game. After the game, he received a plastic lei and a peck on the cheek from Morganna the Kissing Bandit.
4) Jeff Young hit an inside-the-park home run. It was your run-of-the-mill, ho-hum, boring kind of home run where the batter just keeps running fast, and the outfielders go a long way to get the ball. Nothing to see here, move along.
|17||Thu Aug 03||6:00 PM||Hazel Park||Great Lakes Bengals||L||4||3|
Bengals Bite Brewers from Behind
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 R H E
Before we get to the funny business, lets give credit where credit is due...in several places. First, hats off to Rich Cleve for getting to the field before the Brewers, and grabbing the tree. Next time Jeff Young wants to stop for KFC, he's going to walk the rest of the way.
Also the officials. I can't recall the field ump's name, but he was always in position and hustled to get the best angle. We had Rico behind the plate and he had a 100% consistent and fair strike zone. It made the game fun...thanks fellas. It was odd, to see them between their two games in the parking lot having a shaving-cream-pie fight. Just letting off steam, I guess.
This game was a pitcher's duel far more than the 4-3 score tells. The Brewers struck first, netting their only 4 hits of the game, in a row, in the first inning. Ken Grawburg had just drawn a walk then stole 2nd. Mark Stanisz, Curt McNamara, Jim McWilliams, Bryan Crutchfield all lined singles. 'Twas Curt knocked in Ken; Jim knocked in Curt, Bryan knocked in Jim. There you are, a 3-0 statment in the first inning.
Chris Bronis started for the Great Lakes Bengal and took the lumps for underestimating the Brewers. Once he recovered, though, he dominated. The only other base runner was a 2nd walk to KenG. Chris was invited to sit with the Brewers and have a brew after the game, but declined "no thanks, I ran into some old high school buddies and we're going to stay up all night playing Dungeons & Dragons...gotta run."
Bryan Crutchfield came out on the short end of the score, but limited the Faux Tigers to only 3 hits while striking out 4. In Bryan's defense, 2 of the runs were unearned. "It doesn't really matter if they're earned, it's just too bad I have to wear a hat when I pitch." Bryan's favorite hair product is drying sweat. Boy did his hair look great when he left today.
Dave Brown really needs to heal his broken finger. He got out of work late. Got to the diamond with scant enought time to warm up. Then had to catch the complete game. It got dinged early and it hurt the entire game. Dave's a trooper and we appreciate it. Love you Boo Boo!
Even though the rest of the Bengals were 0-fors, Rich Cleve, Shawn Uzarski, and Ronnie Elswick had the hits. The rest of you Bengals should listen to them, and do whatever they say. These are obviously superior human beings. What you probably don't know is that Rich has a Ph.D in submarine engineering, Shawn was a "no-net" acrobat with Barnum and Bailey for 11 years, and Ronnie can recite every line from every movie staring The Rock.
Each team had 1 noteable defensive play. Jeff Young, playing left field for the Brewers, had a fly ball hit his way in the gloam. The sky and ball were the same shade and he lost it momentarily while running in full speed. Jeff kept going where he expected the ball to be, and after a hard run made a fine catch. Maybe in order to play good game in the outfield, one must be full ... of chicken.
Late in the game, an undertmined Bengal was manning first base. A fierce grounder was hit his way and the last hop took a wicked bounce up and to his right. It took quick reflexes to make a bare-hand grab catch. From there it was only a couple steps to turn the out, which he did with a wiggle. Once the umpires issued the "out" sign, he began to do the hokey-pokey. One might think he was showing up the opponents, but actually his grand-baby had just visited the dugout and he was dancing to her. Awww.
|18||Wed Aug 09||6:00 PM||Clawson||Cardinals||W||7||6|
Brewers Clip Cardinals in Thriller
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 R H E
The Glory that was Rome, the Brazenness of the Mongol Hordes, the Terror of the Blitzkrieg. None compare to the Splendor of the Brewers' Offense. Such a Juggernaut stands abreast the likes of Hermes and Thor. 'Twas an ambush of staggering yield. Being bettered by the Cardinals amid the 5th inning by a 6-0 stroke, they did with a flourish score 7 unanswered runs. Then heroically conclude the contest with the only strikeout of the entire game, on either team.
Ken Grawburg, it was, that achieved that prestige. Yea did this honorable hurler display grand acumen pitching well above recommended daily allowance. If a trend be bucked, so be it. KennyG was masterful batters 30-37. Praise be thy name!
Timely striking doth precede victory. Ken Stonehouse annointed by the gods brought forth the Holy Bat of Antioch, and did in an orderly manner count to three. Three was the number of counting - not four, nor two, except thereupon proceeding direcly to three. For the occasion it was foul balls receiving countenations. One to the left, one straight back, one to the right...very orderly indeed. Whereupon this hero of men, this noble of the lore, this Paragon of Virtue did with purpose, drive a base hit. With providence, a duo of men managed home plate due the hit. This was the moment of shining as Stoney drove home the tying and go-ahead runs. Praise be they name!
Akin to RBIs importance is the coveted Run Scored. Only one Brewer possessed the ability to trod upon the dish with plurality in this affair. #8 on his back, but #1 in our hearts, Ed Alberts did spark the Juggernaut by scoring the first and last runs - the two most important runs of the game. Praise be thy name!
The Army of the Vatican was bestowed much felicitations for carrying the lead into the wee innings of the match. The most-decorated soldier of the campaign was Cardinal Mark Ehgotz, out-battling the pitcher in each confrontation. Thrice on base and a principal player in the quatro of runs in the fourth stanza. Praise be thy name!
A beast with the beard of a wildling was the only other Vatician to gain two hits. His mate, Cardinal Starting Pitcher, did extinguish an octet of Brewers batters in series from the onset. Consider 4 innings bereft of scoring and come to no other conclusion - Praise be thy names!
|19||Sun Aug 13||10:00 AM||Fraser||Mudville||W||9||3|
Brewers Sweep Season Series Over Mudville
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 R H E
You couldn't ask for a more beautiful day. Mid 70s and sunshine for the game at Fraser High School.
Let's start right off by giving props to the umpires for a perfect game. No groans on either side, consistent strike zone, hustle to get into position...thanks fellas.
The pitching matchup was in question right up until game time. Marc Baron was going for Mudville, but the Brewers were not sure. It was Jim McWilliams' turn in the rotation, but the collision in the last game had his availablity uncertain. The pain was tolerable, and the skipper at the last-minute decided to hand himself the ball. A 1-2-3 first inning indicated this might be the right decision. Actually, 3 of the first 4 innings went 1-2-3, so the manager looks like a genius, in addition to having a good day on the mound. The strecthing of the pitching motion is exactly what he needed. "My physical therapist said after icing, I need to stretch a lot. Well today I threw about 100 pitches, so I got to stretch 100 times - pure genius."
Marc was not as fortunate, with the Brewers piling it on early. He held tough though, and threw a couple shutout innings later in the game. It turns out his problems were all caused by his Chinese neighbors that do his laundry. They starched his sliding shorts with his work shirts. "Not only was it hard to throw the ball low, but I think all the hair rubbed away" Baron quipped after the game. Todd Palmer added a qualifying nod.
Dave Lentz got a surprise when he found himself batting 4th in the lineup. "He's been driving the ball better than anyone else" manager Jim McWilliams told the press. Dave made the manager look like a genius by going 4-for-4 with a double and 2 RBI. "I'm driving the ball, and we have a genius for a manager" Dave told the Fraser Herald.
Mark Stanisz had the 3-spot in the linup and was on base 3-of-4 trips to the plate, including a single and a double. Add 2 runs and an RBI to his tally. "I've really been hitting well since I got moved to the 3-hole; it was a genius move by our manager." Mark said to Walter Cronkite's grandson.
Ed Alberts took the 5 spot today and responded with a 2-for-3, plus an RBI SAC fly. "Of course I'm the right guy to bat behind Don, Ken, Mark and Dave...they all have OBPs over .500 so I'm the perfect guy to knock them in. We have a genius for a manager - he knows what's up."
At the 7-8-9 spots in the order, Curt McNamara, Doug Fry, and Mike Abke all got on base 2-of-3 times to the dish - each with a hit and free pass. When told of the curiosity, Doug said "3 guys in a row each were 2/3 on base? No fooling? Sounds like the guy that makes the lineup is a genius."
Both defenses were terrific today. Each team limited mis-plays to one. There were 2 highlight plays, both by Mudville. First Jimmy Taylor made an impressive play at third base to turn a tough grounder into a double play. Later Greg Kroodsma made a fantastic catch of a foul pop up. Unfortunate, then when J.T. unbuckled his pants to shake out dirt after a slide, he was caught on video. After the game he was arrested and is facing indecent exposure charges. His argument is "with this manscaping, that's DECENT exposure!"
|20||Sat Aug 19||12:15 PM||Novi High School||at Blue Jays||L||9||6|
BlueJays Bomb Brewers, Brewers Bounce Back But Barely Bust
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 R H E
Dave Lentz got the start on the mound
When you need a sub for a day
DLentz picked a guy off first base
|21||Tue Aug 22||6:00 PM||Hazel Park||at Great Lakes Bengals||L||11||3|
Snot Missing. If Found, Please Call Today's Game Balls
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 R H E
This was a 5-run-inning being the difference in an otherwise tight game...and tight is the apt term to use, since the Brewers had some greasy brats before the game and the entire team was running with clenched sphincters. Relief Catcher Abke said "The rest of the guys might have had dribbles, but I had to squat all night; for me it's just one big smear." Starting Catcher Lentz had this to add, "Oh yeah, it's brutal...when it dries and pulls on the hair is the worst."
Utility-man McNamara was the sole Brewer striker to tally a pair of hits. "It's nice to get a couple knockers, but jeeze I've had real bad hearburn the entire game." Starting pitcher Grawburg overheard and chimed in "I've had it for about an hour." Left-Fielder Lewis was nearby and added "yeah, I've had real bad heartburn too until I had myself a bite of peach fuzz - and least it smelled like peach fuzz." Brewers third baseman Stanisz remarked "yeah, I've had heartburn too ... ever since we ate those brats, come to think of it."
Starting first baseman Alberts scored the first run of the game for the Brewers. He led off the 2nd inning with a missle of a single. "Once I hit that ball, and I smacked it good, all my joints hurt like it was sudden-onset arthritis." Many other Brewers experienced a similar symptoms, but none before eating the brats.
Brewers starting shortstop Fry had the big hit driving in 2 with a sharp single in the 4th inning. "Honestly that's finally when I stopped itching. Ever since we ate those brats, my skin was crawling." Several teammates responded "me too."
It was catcher Lentz and relief pitcher McWilliams that scored on the play. McWilliams told the press "as I was rounding third, all I could think was how bad I smelled from my profuse sweating and my leaky colon. After I scored, I came to the bench; I noticed all my teammates were sweating and some smelled worse than I did. I first noticed it just before the game..."
Brewers' right fielder Young executed the uncommon 9-3 force out. "Hey, I know a thing or two about outfield. What I don't know about is why I have these little hairs, like from a paint brush, stuck in my teeth."
Finally, a small-animal worker stopped at the diamond to say in a panic that all the guinea pigs from the nearby rescue were missing.
|22||Fri Aug 25||8:15 PM||Ford Field||Cubs||W||7||2|
4 Teams Play At Ford Field Today, Only Brewers Win
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 R H E
The Cubs struck first; 2 free passes and 2 sharply-hit singles drove in a pair of runs. From there, they would rather tell you about their grandfather's funeral. McWilliams started for the Brewers and after the ill-fated first inning, he rallied 6 shutout innings, allowing only 3 more hits. Two of the hits came off the bat of Greg Chastang. "That young fella was really dealin' tonight. If I had a son, I would want him to be like Jim."
In the fourth inning, the Brewers mounted their first of three rallies. This time scoring three. The big blow was Curt McNamara's hit that drove in Stanisz and Alberts. Ed slid into home, even though there was no play. "Hey, you gotta go home dirty...whether you're playin' ball or walking the red light district, you gotta go home dirty."
Next in the inning, Abke drove the first of his two hits. Fry was the courtesy runner when Young smacked a hit. Douggie Fry (what a guy) was stealing on the play, so it became a hit-and-run. The Cub's right fielder tonight did not have the cannon arm the other fielders have, so 3rd base coach waved Doug to score. The relay went first base to home and it was a close play with Doug seemingly beating the throw. "OUT!" called the umpire. All 10 Brewers jumped in protest. "That's the batter's box, the plate is over here" the umpire admonished. (dear reader, do your best Get Smart impersonation) "missed it by that much."
Chris Kubiski, back from his missionary work in Uganda, had a great day at the plate, going 2-for-2 plus a walk, run, RBI sac fly. It was his hit that started the 3-run rally in the 5th. Mark Stanisz had the bases-loaded double that cleared the bases, and took 3rd on the throw. Chris explained the sympatico. "Before the game we played swords, and ever since then we've really worked well together."
In the 7th inning, it was Abke again to get the rally started with his 2nd hit. DFry courtesy ran again, stole a base, and scored on Kubiski's SAC fly. Mike said about his inherited run-scored, "That Chris, man he's showed us a nice SAC in the 7th. That's one of the more beautifuls SACs in the whole league."
Jeff Young had hits in 2 of the 3 rallies and nobody seemed to notice. What everyone did notice was his Hi Karate after-shave. Yummm...
Doug Brown got the start for the Cubs and was near-perfect through 3 innings. In celebration of his 2 strikeouts in the 3rd, lead-off hitter Mark White gave Doug a massive wedgie. Nearly unable to move, Doug battled the final three innings but was a shadow of himself. "I probably deserved that, after the wet-willie I gave him in the 2nd inning."
The only Cub besides Chastang that seemed to have the answer to McWilliams' puzzle was Charlie Mendez going 2-for-3. When asked what he attributed his success to, Charlie offered "I had a couple greasy brats before the game."
The brewers are notoriously slow leaving games. This night, however, they were outpaced by the Bengals, who had played earlier, but remained in the parking lot practing some voodoo ritual involving bottles and cans. Ironic then, the final 2 Bengals left at the same time as the final Brewers. Earning their second tie of the night. The 2 Bengals were asked to comment on their lengthly stay, but could only burp The Star Spangled Banner in response.
|23||Sun Aug 27||3:15 PM||Bishop Foley||Blue Jays||L||7||5|
Men Play Baseball - One Team Wins
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 R H E
Pretty well-played game. Brewers were flawless in fair territory and the BlueJays close. 2 BJ errors were off-set by a successful hidden-ball trick. Hitting was light on both sides. Walks and pitches-to-the-backstop were normal for both sides today. One theory is that the Earth's magnetic poles shifted this weekend and everything is a bit askew. Famed scientist Peter Higgs in attendance called the theory "preposterous."
The Brewers Player-of-the-Game was Art Wakefield. Art had a single and double, with an RBI first two trips to the plate, then pitched 3 scoreless innings to close it out. Art nearly didn't come to the game today. He was repairing a roof with tar, and it dried around his boots. He was stuck with no cell phone. It took a hour before someone walked by and he yelled down "Hey, do you have a knife? The roofing tar dried around my boots" to which the pedestrian yelled back "untie your boots."
Some other decent days were had by the Brewers' Jim McWilliams and Jeff Young, each with a hit, walk and run scored. After the game, Jim and Jeff were interviewed by John Tesh for Entertainment Tonight. After the interview it was Jim said to Jeff, "I think Tesh has gone senile. He hasn't been on ET for over 20 years."
Ed Alberts managed to get credit for an RBI on a strikeout. Let your imagination take you away on that one. Ed cited "hey, with a low-sodium diet, there nothing you can't do." Jim gave him a sideways glance for using a double-negative.
The Big Brewers Blast came from Curt McNamara. His double in the 3rd was majestic, sailing high over the center-fielder's head. This drove in Bryan Crutchfield. Bryan had just returned from serving a 2-week sentence in a Croation prison. Bryan's charm and boyish good looks made him an inmate favorite during his stay.
On the BlueJays' score card, 2 players were perfect at the plate. Lead-off hitter Steve Domanski, and 3-holer David Lucas. Steve Managed 2 hits and 2 walks, while David drew 3 walks and was hit by a pitch. They each scored in the first inning, but failed to score in their final 6 times on base. Most likely this is due to the fact that every time on base, Brewers' first baseman Ed Alberts would bump them as a distraction, then slightly tightened their belts. By the end of the game its a wonder they could even breathe. "the only drawback to that gag is that it tends to produce gas, and Steve must have had some broccoli...yuck."
Like Art, Steve pitched in relief and did not yield a run. "Yeah I threw well, but its the 3 stolen bases I enjoyed most." Steve dropped his pants. "Look at these new sliding shorts I got...SEXY!" No other BlueJay had 2 hits. Steve offered to give hitting lessons to his teammates after the game, but they decided a beer and a hot dog was a better use of their time.
|24||Wed Aug 30||8:15 PM||Capitol Park||at Cubs||W||12||1|
Brewers' Steroid and HGH Diet Finally Paying Dividends
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 R H E
Rick Maruszczak was the starter for the Cubs, facing the heralded Brewers lefty Ken Grawburg. In the pre-game meeting with the umpires, Rick was eager: "this is going to be a fun game. Its my turn to pitch. I love to pitch and today's my turn. Let's go, let's go play right now." Back in the dugout, Ken's outlook was a bit more of relief: "finally, my legs don't hurt."
Of the two, it turned out to be Ken who tossed the masterpiece, allowing the sole run with 2 outs in the 7th inning - Ironic that it was Rick that knocked in the run. Ken said "ever since I've been doing Hot Yoga, I feel great. I also got this new loofa at the shop I buy my night mask from and everything is coming together at once...just look at these abs!"
One key to Ken's flirtation with shutoutitude was the Brewers defense that committed no errors. The Brewers also called their fly balls well - little things make a difference. KennyG picked off 2 runners, making more of a difference. "It gives you a lot of confidence to see these guys behind me like that." Kenny continued "far different from my last game where they snuck up behind me with silk rope and bottle of chocolate sauce...that was just weird."
Good D wasn't limited to the Brewers. Charlie Mendez, settling into his role as a third baseman, went tall and almost left the ground to nab a screaming liner. "I've been studying the mechanics of leaving the ground, and I think I just about have it licked. I can't wait for my next opportunity."
A couple Cubs outfielders made some nice catches, but not so nice that we mention their names.
The story of the Brewers offense starts with triples. Ken Grawburg and Curt McNamara both knocked three-baggers. Ken was first. In the first inning, Don Zane led off with a walk. A stolen base plus error put Don at third. Ken ran into one, but good, and his speed did the rest. KennyG had to say "you know what I love more than triples? More triples!"
4 batters later, Curt crushed his own triple, scoring Ken and Mark Stanisz, who had walked and stolen 2nd. "I actually felt faster as I rounded second. Its a bit more cardio for me today, so I'm lovin' that. Mark Stanisz interrupted, "I like to foul off a lot of pitches, that works the obliques so I'm lovin' that." Curt was also 3-for-4 with the 4th being safe on error - the biggest day at the plate for the Brews. 3 runs, 3 RBI and a steal. If you'd like to join the Curt McNamara fan club, sign up at The Hunk Mansion on Woodward.
If anyone makes a case to compete with Curt for PotG, it is Bryan Crutchfield. Bryan went 3-for-4 with 2 runs and an RBI. In only his second game back after the hard time he did in Croatia, Bryan said after the game "I want the BIG sausage."
The Brewers had another player swing a great bat. In this case, it was a hickory bat. Jeff Young put together a 2-for-4 plus safe on error day, including a double that could have been our third triple if only Jeff was a 50% faster runner. But did anyone high-five Jeff after the game? No. Did anyone pat his butt? No. Did anyone show up early and offer to carry his gear? No. What does this guy need to do to get noticed? In this case, runs and RBI would probably help.
Mike Abke and Ed Alberts were on the fringe of getting noticed. Ed offered 2 hits, on base 3 time along with 2 runs and 2 RBI and a stolen base like a cherry on top. "It's all about the cherry, whether you're a pimply-faced teenager or a Brewer having victory shots, it's all about the cherry." Mike had a 2-for-4 day with a pair of RBIs. "I swung it extra hard today, what can I say? Pardon me, have we met? Tonto Dumbrowski ... pleased to meet you."
The biggest Cubbie bat was found in Doug Brown's bag. The bat went 3-for-3 with a stinging double. Doug merely had to hang onto the bat, then run the bases for the bat. After the game Rick Berman, sporting a royal blue ESPN blazer said "That's a heck of a day that bat had. Boy it would have been nice to be Doug and hold the bat while it did all those great things."
Equally perfect at the plate were the Cubs' 8 and 9 hitters. The man beavers love to chew on, Rick Woodcock, contributed a hit and 2 walks. The simply irresistible Robert Palmer was 2-for-3, but the 3rd was safe on a fielder's choice that netted an RBI - a plate appearance every player in the league would call success. A singing telegram came for them at the end of the game, but the messenger only got the last names and was calling out for "Woodcock Palmer" and nobody would answer.
|25||Tue Sep 05||6:00 PM||Hazel Park||at Braves||W||4||3|
Pitching Dominates in Brewers' Squeaker
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 R H E
This game promised to be a pitcher's duel and didn't disappoint. Mike Favoretto took the hill for the home Braves. Mike was dealing. Between innings he setup a Blackjack table and swindled his teammates out of $83 and a book of S&H Green Stamps. On the mound it was pretty much the same kind of dealing, starting the game with a clean 1-2-3 first. "Well you see, sometimes I throw it hard, and sometimes I throw it slower. I get guys out that way." Not wanting to divulge too much information, Mike gave the rest of his interview in Klingon sign language.
Dave Lentz was the man on the mound for the visiting Brewers. A pair of runs in the first tainted the taste of the night, but after that Dave was Dynamite the rest of the way. He finished by setting down the final 9 batters in order. "I was in a hurry to get the game over with, because I had to pee so bad I could taste it."
The hitting hero for the Hops Hombres was Curt McNamara. In his first plate appearance, Curt drove a single, knocking in Don Zane for the Brewers' first run of the game. Then with the game tied in the 6th inning, Curt turned the center-fielder around for an RBI double, knocking in Zane again. "Well see, we had a Red Sox camera-man in the tree in center field, and he would relay the signs. I knew an off-speed pitch was coming."
The other 50% of the Brewers RBIs were had by Jeff Young and Doug Fry. Jeff took a bases-loaded walk, followed by Doug's sharp single. Jeff commented that he prefers to use his blue bat to take bases-loaded walks, while Doug just nodded approvingly.
Another noteworthy day was had by Bryan Crutchfield, who went 2-for-3 and scored a run. However, Bryan's bat went 3-for-4. "Now that I think of it...I'm hitting, what, .390? The rest of my team is batting 1.000 with this bat; I better get my $#!+ together."
Gene Bennett made it out to the game despite being on a rehab assignment. "I love reading the quotes in the game recaps the next morning" he said, then opened his trench coat and added "psst...hey buddy, wanna buy a watch?"
|26||Thu Sep 07||8:15 PM||Hazel Park||at Braves||P|
|27||Thu Sep 14||8:15 PM||Capitol Park||Braves||W||7||6|
Brewers Eliminate Braves in Round 1
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 R H E
Dis' here game came on like gangbusters, see. A couple palooks like Jim McWillliams and Mike Favoretto were da pitchers. Yeah, and dey trew pretty good too. So turns out, its a slugfest, bam, boom, bang! Da lead changes hands 4 times in da foist 2 innings. Who woulda thunk?
Both team hit for power, BAM like a kiss in the smacker. Foist, dis guy on da Brewers, Don Zane puts a ball out dere so far dat he gets one of dem, whatcha callits, "inside da park" home run. Two udder guys were on base, so he gets himself 3 ribeyes. I didn't know dey gave aways steaks...maybe I wants to try out for yaz team. So den later, dis guy on da Braves, Eddie Monley...kaboom, he hits one so high he got one of doze over da fence home runs. He didn't run as fast as dat foist guy. More like he was running with some cement shoes...lemme know, I can help wit dat.
And da bozz wants you to know dat he tinks both teams were just jake in da field, see. Yeah...One moe' ting, see...dis was da foist game da Brewers played all year, dat didn't have nunna dem wild pitches or passed balls...zero, zilch nada! Mike Abke did da catching. Da Bozz gunna have you over; talk about da future.
Da Brewers had a couple a pretty stand up guys hittin' da ball. Mark Stanisz and Curt McNamara bot' had a deuce of hits. Yeah, but Mark's were some of dem doubles when you git to run to anudder base. He scored twice, too. Curt tho, he had dees udder tings..uh..run, RBI, strikeout, stolen base - hey I like dis guy! Dats a lotta tings you gotsta write in da scorebook. And look at dis...Ken Stonehouse had a run and a RBI, but didn't get a hit. Now dere's a guy you wants wit you when youz lost in da woods, cuz he can make sumptin outta nuttin.
|28||Tue Sep 19||6:00 PM||Hazel Park||at The Tribe||P|
|29||Thu Sep 21||6:00 PM||Hazel Park||at The Tribe||L||11||3|
The Game That Got Away
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 R H E
The Brewers played an unusually poor game in the field, and it was absolutely the difference in the game. Hats off to the Tribe. If we gotta get knocked out, we want it by the champs - we're rootin' for you now. At his press conference, E.L. McGoy was asked if he had a big glove and big shoes to go with that big bat. He merely said "I'm battin' third for the Tribe, you figg' it out."
Ken Grawburg got the start in The Brewers' most important game so far. He was great. When he got pulled after the 6th, the teams were tied in hits and earned runs scored. He also had a 2-for-4 day with a steal and a run. After the game he told us of his run-ins with the law in his younger days. "In sixth grade I was arrested for switching the UP and DOWN signs on the escalators at the mall, and an old lady fell down the up-stairs." "They kind of just put me by myself in a room...then gave me a donut and called my dad."
Mark Stanisz hit DA BOM today. It was a triple to the fence in left-center and he chugged it out. An RBI single followed the inning later, so Mark was the only Brewer with 4 total bases. Oh man did he get a lot of BBQ sauce in his beard after the game, and we let him go home like that. Don't forget to kiss the misses when you get home.
Ed Alberts also had 2 hits and they both drove in runs. Ed was like the Pheonix, risen from the ashes...with a vengeance. In the 4th and 5th innings he drove in our first and third runs. What kind of manager takes a player back from hiatus and bats him fourth? Ed said "A genius manager, I tell ya. He's a master of the lineup. Did you notice the top 4 hitters were all on base twice, except Jim leading off, and he was on base 3 times? I noticed." Ed declared.
Don Ukrainec and Jean-Claude Lewis bailed out the Brewers when they came up short on regulars, and played good games. Don even had a hit and a walk in his 3 trips to the plate. Don explained "you see I am an Aries with moon rising so I knew my circadian rhythms would be in tune with the pitcher, who is a Virgo with Aries rising. Even my out advanced a base runner...it was destined to be. Peace be with you."
Mike Abke caught another full game and made big strides in 2 important areas. First, he got his weight onto his feet early in the game. That makes a big difference being mobile. Second, he made good throws back to the pitcher, which had been a problem for several games. "My doctor prescribed I drink 3 pots of coffee per day and I've been so focused lately. I've even taken up ParKor." Then in one motion, Mike jumped on the dumpster, leaped to the lightpole and into a tree, onto a roof, and we lost him over the horizon.
Scott and Rico officiated the game. We were honored to have the same lineup that worked the All-Star game, and they gave us an All-Star job. Thanks guys. It was Mike Hanafee that pointed out "we've never seen Scott and Rico, and Superman and Wonder Woman in the same room."